"You don't want to spend your life chasing someone who doesn't like you as much as you like him."

-Mom

Accomplishments of the Week/Firsts

-Burned my face using the barbeque. It fried all the hairs on the front of my head. Eyelashes and eyebrows included.
-Threw together aforementioned barbeque in less than 2 hours. With the help of Jace, Jada, Brid, Aria, and Kenyan.
Mostly Brid and Jace.
-Talked to Scott Christofferson and Mariana Estevez at the same time. Two worlds I didn't think would ever meet.
-Played the piano with Brid for the children's choir. Reminded again that I can't sight read for anything.
-Ran to Bridian's school to drop off her iPod. (Really?)
-Made hot chocolate from that recipe that's always on the box.
-Didn't know one of the kids at seminary (?!)
-Saw the same people at the airport that I saw in Atlanta a week ago. Doing the same thing. Making out. Awkward.
-Cut in front of Robert Hales and Weston Hawks. New drivers. Jeez...
-Ate gingerbread dough for breakfast.
-Made icing from an internet recipe that was actually worth eating.
-Missed 5 flights in a row.
-Made pandeyuca! (ok, so not the first time... but I didn't do as much work last time)
-Made cupcakes for Bridian's soccer team
-Talked to dad, on an instant messenger, in Spain. So I could google bookstores in Barcelona for he and mom.

It's been a great week :)

dancing grandmas? definitely home.

I'm lying on my parents' bedroom floor on one of their pillows that probably isn't allowed on the floor sitting on my laptop, listening to Star Wars wreak havoc in the other room. And I told the kids they could eat the Halloween candy in the freezer.

Don't tell my parents.

I forgot how much I love home. I mean, not my family. Thankfully, I won't ever forget how much I love being around them. But Florida? I realized today how much I hate the heat. I've spent my whole life in it, so it's easy to forget about it when I live somewhere else. I got off the plane and was almost disgusted how I could chew on the air outside. So to merge the idea of something that has a lot of things I don't really love with a lot of things that I really love, and realize I could love a sand pit if I had ever called it home, or if I could count on my family being there every time, I would always go back to a rock, if that's where they lived.

So rock, sand, or humidity central, there's my family. I'm so grateful I can spend eternity with these crazies. I wonder if that's what my grandma ever thinks... that's part of the reason I'm home. My grandma lives with us because, well, she was kicked out the nursing home. Sad story for another day. She doesn't remember very much, about anything, and so she often just sits and watches us. I wonder if she ever thinks, "I can't wait to get out of here," or if it's more like, "Man, I miss these days." I feel like it would be the latter. When we got home from the airport, we had a dance party. Right then and there. And we went nuts. My grandma was sitting in the front room, we were in the family room at the back of the house, though she could see us and definitely hear us, even though her hearing aid batteries were dying. I worried about her hating the sound, but she very quickly dispelled my qualms on this one; she got up after a few minutes of our ridiculous dancing, danced in the living room, away from our direct line of vision (we were totally still watching), walked into the family room, and sat down on the couch as the audience to our display of... insanity. Really the result of not being around each other frequently enough, but those are pretty much the same thing. But she sat in until the music died down because we had collapsed/moved on to something else.

I think she likes us :)

So this didn't really come together as cohesively as I hoped all of my thoughts throughout the day would. That definitely means I'm home. Cohesive or not, it feels good. I'm down with that.

Tribute to Krista

First, an explanation:
Krista's a phenomenal writer. She had this excerpt from a book she's working on, which she posted on her blog, that is below. You can see her explanation, and my original source, here.

The picture just seems to go with it so perfectly. One, because it conveys the idea of now knowing where to go. Really? How much clearer can it get? This picture also goes with it perfectly because it was a trip to Walmart. Krista, her jeep, a du-rag, yelling out the window pretending I was Amish/a Ku Klux Klan member... it just perfectly describes the relationship Krista and I have. The trip, not so much the picture, but the picture is from the trip. You know.

I really liked this piece of Krista's because I feel like it's my life right now. I haven't slept well in several days because my brain just doesn't stop. I don't even feel like I'm making huge decisions, but the little ones that will make the big ones... It's scaring me a little bit.

And Krista explains it so much better than I do.

From Krista:

I’m starting to become more than a little bit familiar with Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken.” I feel like I’m starring in it half the time. I’m constantly at a metaphorical fork in the road with no clue as to which road to take. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever have a moment of peace when I can just continue on the same road for a while, but it never seems to be the case. You’d think that I’d be going in circles by now considering the sheer number of times I change directions. Most of my life the choice has been strongly influenced by someone else, but gradually those influences have tapered off until I’ve been the only defining factor in my life. Sure the other people are still there, but I'm left to my own judgment.
Now I’m afraid to take that road less traveled, for fear Frost was right and it will make all the difference.

And I’ll be the only one responsible for it.

good morning :)

"hey what's up in Utah?"
"New line. You've used that too many times this week."
"Fine. Yo girl what's going on down in that place your in?"

Gosh, I love my little brother.