A Pattern For Success

I'm a science/math-minded person. I like to look at trends in things, looking for patterns- patterns in the way a room is designed, patterns in the way businesses are run, patterns in the events that happen throughout the day or week, patterns in the way people do things. I'm trying to make rules for the way things happen. That’s what my science and math teachers have taught me, and I like that trend, I want absolute rules that apply to every situation. Odd, because for as much as I like to make rules, I hate to have to follow any myself. I like to think I'm unpredictable, so I sometimes try to vary any repetitive activity, doing it in as different a way as possible so I won't be predictable, which is a sort of rule, which makes me exactly what I didn't want to be in the first place.

Even more odd, though, is the fact that I usually do things so unconventionally by accident. Often because I think too hard about it. I think about the millions of things related to some small, simple decision. I imagine intense repercussions from reactions I wasn't expecting, whether positive or negative, and in trying to plan for my response to that, I end up making a decision based on a reaction I don't actually know that I'll be given. Sick, huh? And that's just the small stuff. Big decisions- Forget it.

But I digress.

Patterns. I look for patterns because, apart from rules, I want to find consistency, and, once I've found it, learn from it. I'm very quickly becoming aware of the fact that there are not always patterns in every single part of everyday life. Because the gospel is centered on four basic principles, however, everything we learn can be tied to those principles. A couple of weekends ago I attended my home stake conference for the first time in what seems like years. I really enjoyed stake conference, and most of the reasons I enjoyed it related to finding patterns. Most of the speakers were people I've known for years, and it was comforting to see their styles of presenting their information consistent with their character and personalities, even though I haven't seen them since the last time I was at least our stake conference. Even those whom I didn't know as well showed patterns consistent with the little bit I did know about them. The pattern I found in the theme of the stake conference was what was most interesting. At the beginning of the adult session, our stake president explained that the entire conference would be focused on “planning”. During the adult session, this theme was made obvious by every speaker; each explained his or her topic, how planning related directly, and spent their time teaching about the correlation. The general session speakers, however, were not nearly as direct. Each speaker was assigned or chose to speak on almost completely different things; I loved finding how the theme of planning fit with each one.

That night, Sister Dalton spoke at the CES fireside. She spoke of the need to return to virtue, explaining that this "is the run of [our] lives,"(similar themes as her talk given at the General Young Women Meeting), and we need to encourage the return of our society to moral purity and chastity. If we don't do it, who will?

It was a fantastic fireside, and I came away from it trying to link all of the things that had been taught the last few days, and then, make it fit with my life. Besides applying the label "Gospel truths," I struggled.

And then I came across "Living Right" by Elder Scott. After he introduces his topic, explaining his desire to share some lessons with us that will help us in our own lives, he lays out what he calls, “A Pattern for Success.” I love when we’re given just what we’re looking for. But it is much, much better than just using the same word I was using.

Elder Scott reminds us of the principles upon which faith is based, and then expounds on each, explaining the vital significance and how it relates to building and maintaining our character. I found it interesting that Elder Scott even used some of the phrases I used in my own thinking, even that I used in this post, and from it we learn:

"The pattern of the Lord is for His children to make decisions based upon eternal truth. This requires that your life continue to be centered in the commandments of God. Thus, decisions are made in accordance with unchanging truths, aided by prayer and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. In addition to your own strength and capacity, you will enjoy divine inspiration and power when needed. Your actions will be predictable and will bless the lives of all in the circle of your influence. You will have a meaningful life of purpose, peace, and happiness… There is no guarantee that life will be easy for anyone. We grow and learn more rapidly by facing and overcoming challenges. You are here to prove yourself, to develop, and to overcome. There will be constant challenges that cause you to think, to make proper judgments, and to act righteously. You will grow from them. " Richard G. Scott, “Living Right,” Ensign, Jan 2007, 10–15

“Your actions will be predictable…” and will bless lives. I guess it's okay to be predictable :)

I would love to copy every point that Elder Scott makes and relate it to my life and express what a brilliantly inspired talk this is, but I think anyone who reads it will quickly learn that for themselves. Please read it. I don’t imagine the message he shares is any principle or idea we’ve never heard before, but his ability to deliver this message, specifically by the mantle of his calling as an apostle of the Lord, is the reason we need to hear it from him. Let the power of his testimony help strengthen us. That is exactly what it’s there to do.

Bridian.

I was sitting on my bed, reading stuff on my laptop, and Bridian was asleep next to me. Suddenly, she wakes up, looks at her phone, then throws it across the room into the wall.

"What did you do that for?"
"Facebook."
"What about Facebook frustrates you so much that throwing it against the wall would help?"
"If I try to go to the second page, it shuts off."

She's totally serious. I didn't think she was very awake or very aware of what she was doing, especially since her response didn't exactly merit any sort of intelligible reply, so I just laugh at her.

"I'm sure that will help."

So I went back to reading, and I started laughing at one part of the article I was looking at. Brid, who's now awake and paying slightly more attention, asks why I'm laughing. So I read her a part of the article about Murphy's and other related laws. Bridian then responds:

"What's weird to me is how I hit people."

What?

We started talking about how violent Bridian is. She explained how she hits people and smacks them for various injustices, and pinches them with her toes. She also explains how she doesn't allow people to touch her, or do any of the things she does to them.

"If people do that to me, I would throw them on the ground, stomp on their heads, and crush their hearts."

And then, before I have a chance to really react besides laughing so hard there are tears streaming down my face, Bridian picks up a book off the bed and chucks that across the room. She leaned over and grabbed the screen of my laptop, but she decided to let go. Without crushing my heart.

I'm really not sure how to react to any of this. I told her about one time she actually threatened to throw my laptop across the room and I was terrified that she would actually do it. To this day, I know she would've. I don't know how I managed to defray her anger that day, but I have been thrown on the ground before. She went off again about how she beats on people, and I said, "You know, the funny thing is, you used to be such a shy little girl."

Bridian doesn't miss a beat. "I'm STILL shy. I'm just a devil to those I know!"

I made the mistake of telling her that I quote her in my gmail status. I randomly attributed some quote to her the other day because I found it in some forward she sent me and it didn't have an author. So I credited it to her. I told her that. "I quote you on my gmail status. The most recent: Happiness is an unexpected hug. -Brid." "HOMOPHOBE!"

Common response from Bridian. I don't know how writing something that gay makes me afraid of homosexuals, but then, I know better than to question Bridian's wisdom. On pain of death.

I told her I would change it. She said, "You better change it, or I'll reach up your nose and rip your brains out your nostrils."

Now, with the explanation I just gave of how serious I take Bridian's threats, you would think that the next line would be "I peed my pants in fear." On the contrary. The only thing even remotely wet was my face. I'm still crying from laughing so hard. Bridian didn't really appreciate that response to her serious threat. She made some other grotesquely graphic and violent threat that I don't remember because I was trying to see my computer through my tears. While I don't fear for my safety, I'm still worried about my computer.

Bridian then said, "Am I getting better? Am I like Travis?" Travis, the infamous EFY counselor that was getting old my first session and was making wild and much worse grotesquely graphic and violent threats to his kids Brid's last year of EFY, said things like, "I'll skin you with a rusted potato peeler and roll your fleshless corpse down a driveway of salt" to the kids in his company.

"Yes, Bridian. You are getting better. Just like Travis." (said between gasps of breath, still trying desperately to be able to see normally and talk without dying.)

And then Bridian says, "I wonder if my phone works..."