the science of realization

The Atonement: Central to the Plan of Happiness

2011-12-18T13:39:00.006-07:00

A few days before I went into the MTC, I was asked to speak in our sacrament meeting in our ward in Florida. I struggled to pick just one topic, finally decided on humility, and mostly bawled through my talk, not actually feeling that I had any idea what I was about to do and feeling like I really understood humility, feeling more scared and unsure than I had ever felt in my life.

I was right about not having any idea about what I was about to do.

I was wrong about understanding humility.

So I embarked on the scariest but greatest adventure I have ever had in my life, and returning home, was faced with the same challenge of trying to decide how to describe the last 18 months of my life with just one common theme. I gave up. We’re talking about the gospel, it all fits, right?

One of the first things we teach every investigator, or even potential investigator, is about the plan of salvation. It is one of the first thing we learn in Primary, so it is very fitting that those, who aren’t familiar with the Gospel of Jesus Christ , learn of the love their Heavenly Father has for them through the plan He created for their happiness. We learn of our pre-earth life, the creation and the Fall, our life on this earth, and where we will go after our time here. We learn of the things required of us so that we can make it to live with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and our families. And we learn that perfection is required, but not possible in this life on an individual level.

And then we talk about the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Preach My Gospel teaches us,

Before the world was organized, our Heavenly Father chose Jesus Christ to be our Savior and Redeemer. The atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ made it possible for us to overcome the effects of the Fall.

I love the simplicity of the gospel. We have to pay a certain price and we physically cannot pay that price, so Heavenly Father provided a way for us to meet that end. He provided Jesus Christ. He provided that way that we may be made perfect. And not just for our sins.

One of my favorite scriptures about the Atonement we find in Alma 7 verses 11-12.

11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

This reference very quickly became a favorite to use when teaching about the Atonement. We understand that we need someone to make up the difference for the mistakes we make. When teaching children, we explained that if they broke a toy belonging to a sibling, they could find a toy to replace that which they broke, but what could they do about the tears their brother or sister cried? We can’t put those tears back. That is what the Savior does for us- He helps us to completely repent of our sins.

But what about the sibling with the tear-stained face? Maybe he is really hurt that someone could be so careless. Maybe she was really attached to that one toy that the new toy will never be. Maybe even though the new toy is in their hand doing exactly what the old toy did, that sibling doesn’t know how to let go of how badly it hurt that the original toy was broken.

I love in these verses in Alma that not once does it say that the Savior suffered for our sins. It doesn’t change the validity that the Atonement was indeed necessary to save us from our sins, but these verses aren’t about the sins we commit. It is about the pain we feel in this glorious challenge called mortality, and the opportunity we have to overcome it.

Though I knew of this truth before serving a mission, I was constantly amazed at just how much more I learned teaching than being taught. As we worked with different people, helping them understand the tools they have to accept the Savior and apply the Atonement in their lives, my testimony continued to be strengthened of these principles. When I first arrived in Portugal, we met a Brazilian woman, Mari, who had approached the missionaries and said, “I want to know more about your church.” She loved the lessons and loved attending church, but she had a very difficult time with some of the commandments. Sins are hard to let go of. It was an incredible process to watch her fight between her desire to follow the Savior and her desire to live the lifestyle she wanted. One day she just broke down. She was so tired of this internal battle she was fighting. Elder Robert D. Hales taught that pain brings us to a humility that allows us to ponder. We witnessed that with Mari. It was hard for her to submit her will to the Lord, but it led her to blessings far greater. She was baptized shortly after this breakdown day. But it left such a strong impression on me. She had to be brought to her knees, quite literally, to be able to accept that the Lord wanted better for her. I remember aching for her, and actually almost envying what she was going through. I remembered times in my life when I’d felt that, just a little bit, when brought to a point where I felt like I had nothing left and then the Lord reminded me just how much He loves me. I grew and stretched the most in those moments of my life, and I wanted to feel like she did. I wanted to let that Atonement work on me just as powerfully as she was letting it work on her. Just for a minute. I learned an important lesson on being careful of your desires, but we’ll talk about that later. I was so grateful for the opportunity to witness the miracle of the Atonement in her life, and that it had the happy ending of her casting away those sins and becoming a member of the church.

Even more than in the actual teaching opportunity, I learned mountains in the preparation. And not just in the related preparation, the plan-out-your-lessons-for-the-day-with-your-companion preparation. I realized that everything I experienced one day was preparing me for the next day. Everything. From the trial of needing to prepare a lesson on the spot to how to stop the resident hedgehog from eating your bookshelf. And everything that happened in my life before my mission needed to happen so that I could call on that experience to help me during my mission.

At the beginning of June, a year or so into my mission, I was having a hard day, for no particular reason, it seemed the adversary just chose to be harder on me some days and not as hard on others. I just didn’t want to struggle, I didn’t want to feel like I was the only person in the world, missionary or otherwise, who was feeling like that on that particular day. During our scripture studies that morning, I read a scripture in Helaman chapter 3.

Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God.

I loved finding this scripture. We need to get stronger, and we do it by praying and fasting so that we may find consolation. Even for things that seem like they maybe shouldn’t bother us so much, but they do. We can use the Atonement to find that consolation.

Then I read the talk by Elder Kent F. Richards from Conference of April this year, “The Atonement Covers All Pain.” I had never felt like a talk applied so personally, like it was written specifically for me. So many things explained to me that I wasn’t alone, that anything I was going through was for my benefit, and the Lord’s perfect love for me would govern what would be best for me. A quote by Elder Orson F. Whitney stuck out to me the most:

No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility… It is through our sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.

I found such great comfort in those words. The Lord not only knows what we are going through but has them planned for us. Our individual plans of salvation are so specifically and carefully designed to cater to our specific strengths and weaknesses so that we might learn and grow to reach our goal of celestial glory. It was such a wonderful feeling to have the Spirit testify of those truths, and it turned my day around completely. It was still a hard day, but I had such a better outlook on what trials I would face, how I could face them with courage, grace, and faith.

Exactly three weeks later, I got a phone call that my family had been in a terrible car accident, and that I had lost my sister, Jada. Somewhere in the first few days, the initial shock, and talking to the rest of my family, I remembered having read this talk about the Atonement. I couldn’t imagine ever thinking anything was hard in my life before that moment, but I remembered the first line of the quote. No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It was very difficult to believe this, to even want to believe it, but every day of my mission had led me to a strong assurance that everything happens according to plan. Our Heavenly Father’s perfect plan. He knew I’d be in Portugal, He knew Jada would leave this life while I was far from her. So I was given a wonderful opportunity to learn another truth of which Elder Richards teaches.

The Savior is not a silent observer.

I feel like this is one of the most difficult lessons to learn in this life. To depend on the Savior, to believe that He truly did suffer for all of our suffering, and to accept His help when we feel that we’ve fallen, be it through our own sins or the pain of mortality. But it is a vital lesson to learn. And we have so many hands willing to help us do so.

I learned in that time what it truly means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. President Uchtdorf, in describing what it is to become a disciple of Jesus Christ, taught,

The more we are filled with the Spirit of God, the more we extend ourselves to others. We become peacemakers in our homes and families, we help our fellowmen everywhere, and we reach out in merciful acts of kindness, forgiveness, grace, and long-suffering patience.

I watched that in Portugal. I was carried through the first week after this tragedy by my mission president, his wife, the missionaries in our district, my companion, and the prayers and fasts of the entire mission. Members and companions with whom I had served in other areas poured in their love and support for me and my family. I was overwhelmed with the love that I was feeling, despite my overall state of shock and numbness to the outside world. Absolutely overwhelmed.

And then I heard what love was being shown to my family here.

Heavenly Father knew how badly I wanted to be here. He knew how much I wanted to be with my family through the whole ordeal of changes in family dynamics, the challenges of moving, and then to experience all of the pain I was going through at least at their sides helping them make it through. But He knew I would be across the ocean, and He knew of all the wonderful disciples of Jesus Christ, members and non-members alike, that were here (and still are here!) to help my family. To give of themselves, to reach out in merciful acts of kindness. I could never adequately even begin to express my gratitude for the love these people have shown my family, but deeper than that, for the example they have been to me of what it is to live the gospel of Jesus Christ and show that understanding of the Atonement by the way they live. My prayer is that we may all continue to feel those blessings.

We know that trials often require the virtue of patience, and understanding comes in pieces, not overnight. We learn more about the Savior and the Atonement as we continue to study and continue to endure faithfully. Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught,

Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a ‘healing’ cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are ‘healed’ by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.

Elder Richards then commented,

All that will come may be “clasped in the arms of Jesus.” All souls can be healed by His power. All pain can be soothed. In Him, we can “find rest unto [our] souls.” Our mortal circumstances may not immediately change, but our pain, worry, suffering, and fear can be swallowed up in His peace and healing balm.

A week after the accident, I had started to get on my feet again and continue a missionary life. We were working with an investigator who found it difficult to believe in God while terrible things happen on this earth. Her son and husband joined the church, her son had served a mission and was serving as the bishop of that ward. Both have tried countless times to help her feel the Spirit and understand the truthfulness of the gospel, but she is still angry that tragedies have occurred in her life and continue in the world around her. The week after the accident, we were teaching about the plan of salvation. It was hard to say out loud all the truths I knew, all the things I´ve spent the last year or so teaching and my whole life learning, but just hadn´t had the courage or desire to really say out loud during that last week. It was easy to imagine in previous lessons how she must think we know nothing about the trials of life. But as we testified, as a representative of the Savior, that we know it´s true. we know we are here with purpose and we know our Heavenly Father loves us, the pain of losing my sister started to evaporate. Not just recede or diminish, but completely disappear. It didn’t change the fact that my family was still lying in a hospital in a city I’d never heard of, nor did it change the fact that Jada wouldn’t be there to hug me when I walked off the plane. But that pain was literally swallowed up in the healing balm of the Atonement. And our investigator was able to experience that with us. She didn’t suddenly overcome all of her doubts, fears, or reservations built on years of pain and worry, but she started to open up. She started, little by little, to accept that healing. I don’t know the outcome of her story, I left the area before we scheduled a baptism for her, but she felt that love of the Savior. She’s on her way down that path. She’ll make it someday.

When I was preparing to submit mission papers, I told my bishop that I was eager to serve because I wanted to share the healing message of the Atonement. Though I still feel that I know so little about something so incomprehensibly wonderful, I had no idea what I would learn myself about that gift.

And I am so grateful to have had this kind of opportunity.

2010-05-23T08:59:00.001-06:00

Sister Alyssa Mortensen
MTC Mailbox # 280
POR-PORT 0728
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604-1793

Charity: Learning of God's Love

2010-05-23T08:51:00.006-06:00

When the sons of Mosiah had completed their travels throughout the land of Zarahemla, making restitution for their wicked days with Alma the younger, they returned to their father and asked him to allow them to preach to their brethren, the Lamanites. They hoped to share with them the knowledge of their Heavenly Father, perhaps even curing the Lamanites’ hatred of their brethren, and bringing them to rejoice in their God. Ammon, Aaron, Omner, and Himni were “desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble.” (Mosiah 28:3)

Do we feel this same love for our brothers and sisters? Do we quake and tremble that our neighbors may not know of God’s love for them and suffer because of it?

Do we understand that the same God loves us this way? He anguishes over the possibility of us not making choices to be able to return to live with Him. We are loved with more than we can comprehend, and we have been taught by latter day prophets that because we are children of God, we have the capacity to love as He does. If we seek our Heavenly Father, we will find Him, and as we build our relationship with Him and learn to love Him, we will be able to grasp the love He has for us. With this grasp, we will be able to increase our capacity to have the same love for our fellow man, just as the sons of Mosiah did.

President Uchtdorf offered insight on increasing our capacity to love and building our relationship with our Heavenly Father. He taught, “Since ‘God is love,’ the closer we approach Him, the more profoundly we experience love. But because a veil separates this mortality from our heavenly home, we must seek in the Spirit that which is imperceptible to mortal eyes… seeking God with all our hearts implies much more than simply offering a prayer or pronouncing a few words inviting God into our lives. ‘For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.’ We can make a great production of saying that we know God. We can proclaim publicly that we love Him. Nevertheless, if we don’t obey Him, all is in vain, for ‘he that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.’” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Love of God,” Ensign, Nov 2009)

To seek God with all our hearts, we need to obey His commandments. We learn from the Savior’s teachings the greatest commandment: Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself (Matthew 22:36-39) The sons of Mosiah understood these commandments. They loved God, and they had the strong desire to impart of the word of God to their brethren, showing their love for their neighbor. President Uchtdorf continues, “Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood… When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden.” President Uchtdorf makes obvious that the love of Jesus Christ should be at the center of our lives. Mormon teaches us the name of this love, “charity is the pure love of Christ,” and he adds ancient testimony to President Uchtdorf’s words, “wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all…” Charity, the characteristic we need to obey the two greatest commandments, should not just be at the center of our lives but should be the core of our lives, and as we learn from the apostle Paul, having this core gives meaning and depth to our obedience (See 1 Corinthians 13).

The sons of Mosiah understood charity, and their actions exemplified this Christlike attribute.

And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (Moroni 7:45)

This verse describes our Savior, whom we the sons of Mosiah were striving to emulate and we are also trying to emulate. These men sought not their own but instead to share the love of God with their brethren. They didn’t think the same evil of the Lamanites that the Lamanites thought of them, but they rejoiced in the truth that the Lamanites were also children of God, and with that knowledge, they knew how much love they should also have for the Lamanites. How can we become like the Savior? How can we learn to endure all things, think no evil, rejoice in truth, and love especially the Lamanites in our life? We can learn more about Him. We can follow His teachings. We can feel of His love in partaking of His infinite sacrifice as we change and heal through the Atonement. And by this, we will continue to deepen our love for Him and our Heavenly Father.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified, even as he is pure. (Moroni 7:48)

I add my testimony to Mormon’s; as we seek to follow the Savior’s example, we will be blessed with His pure love and have charity, and through the Savior’s Atonement, our strivings will lead us to once again enjoy the presence of our loving Heavenly Father.

2010-05-07T10:19:00.002-06:00

"I had a dream last night about you as a sister missionary.I was still on my mission, and we were both in Provo. With Justin and Steven Wade.

On P-days, we all dressed up like super heroes and stopped crime.

You still had to wear a skirt, and you were upset..."

Carrots for lunch

2010-05-05T12:30:00.002-06:00

I put carrots in my lunch today, and as I pulled them out of my bag, I had a funny memory from kindergarten. I didn't realize I could remember that far back.

My mom taught us to pack our own lunch boxes probably in preschool, and she monitored it for a few years til she trusted we wouldn't take just junk when she wasn't watching (don't worry, we still tried). We had a couple of rules, which I loved, still automatically adhere to, and will insist that my kids follow: no more than two packaged things and no junk if there wasn't something healthy to balance it out. We fell into this routine pattern for our lunches: a sandwich, a juice box (that was one packaged thing, we were allowed to take water bottles), an apple or some carrots, some crackers, and whatever packaged cookies/cakes/junk we'd asked my mom for that week, filling out packaged-thing quota. I remember always having a hard time with the healthy stuff. I hated fruits and vegetables. But I knew I couldn't take whatever unhealthy thing I really wanted if I didn't take carrots. And for some reason, I always took carrots. I hated carrots. But I took them. Mom never said anything about what we actually had to eat, just what we had to take, but I wasn't dumb. I knew better than to come home with just my carrots. There was something that told me it wasn't okay to just throw them away either. I always tried to eat one, and was quickly reminded of my dislike for them. So my little kindergarten brain decided that if my carrots got dirty, I could throw them away, guilt-free. I put the carrots on the edge of the cafeteria table and slammed my fist down so that it shook the table, and the carrots started to roll off onto the floor. I hit the table enough times so that each of my carrots rolled off onto the ground, contaminating them enough to merit throwing them in the garbage can. And never felt like it would bother my mom.

So as I finished my carrots for lunch today (by eating them, not by pounding my desk), I really wanted to text her and say, "I ate all my carrots!" just because she would get a kick out of it. But she still doesn't know the story. It wouldn't make any sense to her.

But I'm curious what she'll come up with.

2010-04-27T10:28:00.000-06:00

"True love lasts forever. It is eternally patient and forgiving. It believes, hopes, and endures all things. That is the love our Heavenly Father bears for us.

We all yearn to experience love like this. Even when we make mistakes, we hope others will love us in spite of our shortcomings—even if we don’t deserve it.

Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Heavenly Father loves us—even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He never will."

Joseph B. Wirthlin, “The Great Commandment,” Ensign, Nov 2007, 28–31

false.

2010-04-11T08:20:00.000-06:00

Everybody learns from disaster

2010-03-30T12:07:00.003-06:00

Mishaps would also be a good name for this post. But using the same title for every post gets old. And “Life” gets redundant.

I was getting sick of no sunshine and too much being cold, so I texted my mom, “Can I fly home next Saturday and just go to the beach? All day?” completely expecting she'd text me back a smile and something like, “don't you have to work?” Instead, she texted me back, “You're always welcome to come home. The direct Friday night and then Sunday morning?”

I texted Brid. She'd want to go. We texted each other all morning Friday about how the random snow and wind was getting us even more excited about the beach. I left work and headed home, getting so excited about sand and sun.

And then my wave of the usual mishaps hit. We were going to leave at 2, Brid calls at 2:15 and says that she and our grandparents haven't left yet. We don't need to be out til 3, so I've got time to run errands. She's going to call when they leave Spanish Fork, 15 minutes away from me, so even if I'm in the middle of something, I'll have time to run home and still not keep them waiting for me.

Fat chance.

I ran to the bank to drop off some checks, realized I was starving and asked Brid what she wanted for lunch, and ran to Arby's (the girl works at Arby's, I don't know why she'd want to eat there, but I'm a fan, I won't argue). She wanted a soda, and her meal came with a really big one. Probably a normal size, but the cup holders in Krista's jeep are not very deep, so it looked enormous, and needless to say, didn't fit in the cup holder very well... So when I flew across three lanes of traffic to get into the turning lane I needed, the soda did not stay in the cup holder, but flew across my lap and hit the floor, exploding Pepsi all over my feet and the floor of the jeep. My feet are soaking in a Pepsi flood, as is the carpet of the jeep, and we're supposed to be going to the airport. Even if it were my jeep, I couldn't leave the Pepsi soaking all weekend, but what was I supposed to do with 20 minutes? I was pretty proud of my quick thinking. And a lot of years of learning how to clean dark fluids out of light carpet- thanks Dad and younger siblings. I ran to one of those car cleaning places with the car wash and the vacuums. I used the first cycle on the self-wash, using the wand to spray off the mat and floor of the inside of the jeep. Then, I reversed it to shopvac out everything as fast as I could. That floor was beautiful. And I really hope somebody else used the rest of that free car wash. I was so impressed that everything looked so good (and wasn't sticky), but didn't really have time to admire it. Or do the rest of the car, like I really would've loved. I should mention that in between rinsing and shopvac-ing, I get a text from Brid that says, “Remember how I was going to call you when we left? Oops. We're already on our way.” I'm racing back to my apartment, glad the jeep is clean but worried I'm not going to be fast enough. Everything I'm taking (my bag with my swimsuit and... toothbrush?) is sitting on my couch, ready to go, I just need to be there. So I run to the door, and the door's locked. Of course. I should probably mention the other thing in that bag besides my toothbrush and swimsuit is the key chain with my house key on it. I was going around the corner, no one else was home, I just didn't think I really needed them... of course, someone would come home and leave and lock the door in the time I was gone. Like this is her fault, ha. So I called the Foxwood office, not knowing if anyone is there, being completely unaware of their office hours or if they have anyone that will come unlock the door. I got lucky. I ran to the office, they have a key I can borrow for a second, I run back to my apartment and my sister is running to meet me. My grandparents only had to wait a minute or two, but really? With all that time I had? Good heavens...

(Don't worry. Still haven't told Krista this story ;)

We flew home, they wouldn't let us sit together, so I threw a note to Bridian and the guy next to her sat on it, the tiny white-haired old lady next to me was trying to force sandwiches down my throat and feed me the whole trip... you know. Uneventful.

We went driving around Friday night, Brid and Jada had a photo shoot in front of the Signature Grand while I rekindled my relationship with my longboard. We were out til 3 or so, then came home and, Brid and I still being on mountain daylight time and Jada wanting to stay up with us, it was well after 4 when we finally collapsed. Brid and I got up to be at the beach before 11, and we stayed til 3. We both fell asleep in the sand. We refused to bring sunblock, planning on being lobsters but knowing it would be worth the tan that stuck around afterwards. We didn't, however, account for the fact that we're not used to Florida sun anymore. Nor did we plan on my mom wanting to take family pictures when we got back. So we are tinted pink, closer to red, in those family photos. Unfortunately (or fortunately for my mother) the sunburn hadn't fully set in yet. As the night wore on, we turned darker shades of red. I started shaking from cases of chills about midnight. When we got up to go to the airport, I could barely walk. Brid, lucky duck, hasn't lived in Utah long enough to lose as much pigment. She burned, and while I still am sorry for how much pain she's in, she didn't burn like I did. I really wanted to be in sweats, didn't have any, really did not want to be in anything even sort of fitting, and the only person who had some in my house was my dad. Yes, my dad is 6''6 and 250 lbs. Yes, they are too long for him. Yes, I wore them. No, they didn't stay on throughout the day. Of course, we didn't just make the direct, but instead flew to Minneapolis and Denver and then Salt Lake. So I had to clutch the sweats with one hand all day. Brid and I were quite the sight. I sincerely apologize to anyone that knew us at those airports or anyone that might have wanted to know us (Luis, Ben...). I was a baby about it too, so the bag on my shoulder causing blisters was giving me reason to whine every step I took (see, it's over and I'm still whining!), I had my longboard hooked on one arm (my brother and I put a coat of linseed oil on it while I was home) and it was still a little oily, which got on everything, also giving me reason to complain, and I just all around hurt. The two of us had to laugh at each other when we realized we were down the other's throat about accidentally bumping the other person. It was a great/miserable day. I got home, soaked in aloe, and fell asleep.

After 11, 12, maybe 13 hours (I crashed at 6, I woke up at 7:30, but when you roll over onto a sunburn...), I still can barely walk. I look like a burn victim, and my face, of all things, is starting to blister. Ibuprofen and aloe went with me to work, in addition to the liter of water that was completely consumed in the first hour I was there. Yuck.

Overall, fantastic trip to the beach :) here's to the rest of the week, wretched peeling, and the next bottle of aloe.

(Mountain Daylight Time- there is a difference between Mountain Standard Time and Mountain Daylight Time. I had no idea. Huge fiasco at work involving this minute difference and our ignorance of this fact, so now, I'm educated. Please don't let this ever, ever happen to you.)

Mishaps

2010-03-25T20:28:00.000-06:00

I wrote this in November. It still describes every day of my life.

There's not a theme to this. Just how the past few days have gone.

Last week was a blur of teaching classes and riding buses. Getting off at the wrong stops, Jay Sean making sure I didn't miss the bus, being sprayed down by inefficient sprinklers, finding out my kids' books had been written in before I bought them, learning that the room we had scheduled hadn't been scheduled right... the mishaps not unfamiliar to my life. Friday I tutored a student in geometry, which was interesting because I haven't formally studied geometry in years, so the brief refresher course made me wonder why I hated it in eighth grade. And then the girl asked me about proofs.
Oh yeah.

Saturday Jada and I went to Disney World for her birthday. Gosh, it was so much fun. Of course, we got up at 6am so we could leave by 6:30 and didn't get on the road til almost 8. Only after forgetting the tickets and having to turn around and get them. Then we got on the turnpike and ended up sitting in the middle of it, with the car off, waiting for the firetruck and ambulance and the people clearing the burning car off the road. That was actually pretty fun. We made friends with the lady in the truck next to us (she liked that we were playing our music way too loud with our windows rolled down. She told us.) and we watched people wander around, being curious, and we laughed at how many different people were out on the turnpike that day. People in their pajamas, a lady with a dog, the lady who we thought was headed to the temple because of the white dress hanging in the backseat of her car but then she pulled out a box of cigarettes... On the road again, we got to Disney World and got a fantastic spot right in front of the main gate. Of course, then I forgot to put the parking receipt in the window, so while Jada stood in line to grab tickets, I had to run back out to the car... lucky it was close! We ran around all day, riding roller coasters, running into people, cartwheeling on bridges, having random people wish Jada a happy birthday (and a random garbage can?), I got a nice family to sing to her... when we left that night we were exhausted, and still had the three hour drive home. Which turned into an eight hour drive home. A serious blunder. For another day, when I can laugh at it. We got home at 4:30, I had to be up 3 hours later for a meeting at the church, which ran until church started, and I ended up running around until 6 or so that night. I finally collapsed on my bed and slept for twelve hours. Then woke up, was awake for a couple of hours, then collapsed again.

There wasn't a theme to this. And then I realized that I only gave details on the mishaps. My life's full of them. I don't ever have a story where nothing goes wrong. I guess it's a good thing I see them as adding flavor to what may be ordinary events.

Oh. Guess I don't have those either.

playlisting

2010-03-16T09:52:00.015-06:00

I have a file on every single computer I touch more than once a week called "Music Projects." Playlisting is a verb. It's what I do when I hear more than one good song on the radio while flipping stations. I keep writing parts of this one down, so here's a good place to have all the parts meet. Mostly, I wanted to play with my ability to post downloadable songs.

Bonding With Jasmine

Pazookies & Corndogs

2010-03-14T00:43:00.005-07:00

Every so often I miss being a freshman. Just for a second, and just parts of it. Just the doing the craziest things and not thinking anything of responsibility parts. The realizations that come day to day of recognizing I'm an adult aren't usually happy ones, unfortunately. Of course, those realizations do always come when I realize the consequences- financially, socially, spiritually, timing, etc.- of an action almost as instantly as I think about the action itself, and the result is the conclusion that these actions are often spontaneous, somewhat reckless things.

I have a fantastic group of friends that I met my freshman year, and they all encouraged this sort of decision making. Fortunately, we all had the good sense not to do anything incredibly stupid or with lasting negative consequences, but we still had a great time doing whatever it was. I guess it's fair to say that spontaneity and bad judgment don't always guarantee a good time... but still. We learned a lot from each other then, and now that they are all home from missions, we continue to learn a lot from each other. It just takes on a whole different meaning now that every one of us is at the stage of "what's next in my life?" Interesting how that occasionally influences our view of "responsibility." Who knew.

So when we all had a plan to visit one of these friends' aunts on a Friday night, and at the last minute that plan fell through, we still had every intention of doing something fun, but what to do? A movie, everyone was tired. Sometimes that change in perspective has made our idea of fun a lot more complex- we can't do something like just watch a movie without thinking we're boring, the activity can't be completely wasting time, it has to show some sort of planning on our part... I don't know what it is. Lately we're not quite as spontaneous. So when Jordan called me tonight and said, "We're on our way home. We're going to the Hot Pots. Right now. You coming?" I was a little bit frustrated. Leave it to them to be spontaneous when I actually tried making plans, they weren't working out, and I was determined to make those plans work. I love impulsive, especially when coming from people who aren't characteristically so. Hot Pots had been my idea in the first place, and I was so mad they would even consider going without me! I told him that I couldn't take the joke from him. I had plans. What was I supposed to do? The phone switched hands. James started, "Alyssa, this is my serious voice." ...James seems the most rational of all of us. When is he not using his serious voice? "We're driving home, and we want to go to the Hot Pots as soon as we get there. I'm being impulsive, and I don't do impulsive. You should take advantage of this." "Ahhh..." I called and rescheduled the not-working-out-so-hot plans for another day that they'd work better. And we were driving to Monroe. 2 1/2 hours away. So we could go hot tubbing in the middle of nowhere. And I could feed that urge to be impulsive I've been feeling for weeks.

This idea came about 8PM. On a Saturday night. So what actually happened? The guys dropped me off to grab my swimsuit, they came back to pick me up. We went back to their apartment. They turned on Miss Congeniality. We went to Wendy's at 11:30. We sat in one of the BYU parking lots and ate french fries. We talked about Lady Gaga, how Andy actually knew who she was when Poker Face started playing on the radio, about Saltare on America's Best Dance Crew, about how even though Gabe judges me for having "Telephone" as my ringtone, he still thinks she's pretty talented, and they dropped me off before midnight. And I had a great night. I came away thinking I have the greatest friends in the world, and not just those I spent time with tonight. Clearly, our definition of fun isn't that complex.

Again I'm reminded, with a grin, that being an adult doesn't mean less fun. Just flexible definitions. And a greater demand for creativity.

Hot Pots story next weekend?

2010-03-08T15:19:00.001-07:00

On Dealing With Uncertainty

2010-02-22T23:08:00.007-07:00

I don't have adequate words to describe, much less introduce, this topic, so I'm incredibly grateful someone with this talent would write such a great talk. It's phenomenal. We live in uncertain times, but regardless of the state of the world, merely living ensures we will always experience times of uncertainty. May I recommend this article to anyone who plans on facing the life adventure that means ample occasion when we just don't know the answers!

In some ways, at least for me, this was a little too close for comfort. Elder Hafen points out some stark realities, and many that I know I struggle with. But he has words for all of it, even if not his own. Especially comfort. "As President Harold B. Lee said, the true Church is intended not only to comfort the afflicted, but to afflict the comfortable."

Bruce C. Hafen, “On Dealing with Uncertainty,” Ensign, Aug 1979, 63–67

To ambiguity! and the many wonderful ways we're given opportunity to grow because of it!

Reason to smile

2010-02-18T16:08:00.001-07:00

Dear members of the A.R.T. Appreciation group:

Now that all members of the board of directors are back from their missions, A.R.T. Appreciation can continue on its path in commemorating one of the finer beings of this world. Please feel free to post stories, pictures, or discussion topics regarding our warm friend, Andrew Robert Thompson.

Sincerely,

Jordan Kerr

2010-02-14T16:13:00.001-07:00

"No matter how bleak the chapter of our lives may look today, because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations."

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Shut up and...

2010-02-09T15:20:00.005-07:00

I drove past by this huge field yesterday and had this really funny realization about myself. I really wanted to be out in the middle of the field on a four wheeler, riding around behind an incredibly cute driver, and not even so much about the boy, but driving around really fast sounded fantastic, and I'm sure the boy would love it. Even if only so he could show off.

I was listening to this song. Taking it very literally. It seemed to fit with the image in my head. And then I started listening to the words.

Stupid Rihanna.

My Life Is Average

2010-01-22T11:10:00.002-07:00

Krista just got me into this kick (again. I can thank Bridian for the original), this kick being reading the website and saying "My life is average" after ridiculous things happen.

I really laugh out loud every time I read the website. Today, my son's friend came over, they are both 4 years old. I was trying to manage my 5 other children and holding my 2 month old son at once. I yelled out, "This is madness!" In unison, I heard"THIS. IS. SPARTA!" and the 4 year olds ran away. MLIA. My kind of humor. I love it.

So I wrote this whole post about the goofy things I've done/have happened to me in the last month or so, how I talk too much about just the fun things I do, how I tend to exaggerate...
I completely changed my mind. The true inspiration for this post came from a text I wasn't expecting from one of my friends from home, who's currently in New York, playing a harmonica while wandering the streets.

So what were you up to last night? I heard some rumors...

I was so excited to answer this text. I thought about the night before and realized, because of the great people I have in my life, how well the day before came to a close. So I started to tell him. But a question like that? You can't just give a straight answer.

Kite flying. Probably til almost midnight, it was a little scandalous...

I am proud to say that no part of that was a lie, or even a stretch. We did fly kites. We didn't even own the kites much before 10pm. It got scandalous- we had a little Mermaid kite and a Buzz Lightyear kite. What Disney doesn't tell you... We came home. And then after kite flying with two fantastic friends, I fell asleep talking to my best friend hours after that.

I'm still sitting on my bed in my pajamas, it's getting close to noon, but I haven't felt like I've wasted the morning- it started with a bowl of Marshmallow Mateys. In a Mickey Mouse mug, because the cup was cool, and I just didn't want to use a bowl.

My life is average.

In The Spirit of Thanksgiving

2009-12-03T06:51:00.005-07:00

I was going through the Mormon Messages channel on youtube when I came across the video "In The Spirit Of Thanksgiving."
Love the Church.

So I'm a little behind, since Thanksgiving was last week. And of course this video has been online for two months. I am a little behind on Mormon Messages... But gratitude isn't something specific to November, as the life of the Savior, pointedly his birth, isn't specific to December. I love that responses to the question, "What are you thankful for?" were recorded as people gave them; they are completely unscripted, so we get to see exactly what things, seemingly significant or insignificant, stick out to people as most important in their lives. Donuts. Family. Intelligent conversation. Weather. Opportunities. Macaroni and cheese. Jobs. Health. Beds. I don't think about my life like that. I'm thankful someone does! Instead, I allow my list of things for which I do not (willingly, often) express gratitude to get much bigger and more pressing. In the talk that the clip incorporated, Elder Oaks reminds us of our ample reason to express gratitude, and in his list of things to be grateful for, he makes no mention of anything tangible, not even anything as specific as our families. He lists four things that incorporate anything of eternal significance and nothing more: Our Savior, Jesus Christ; revealed truths; commandments; and afflictions.

When we understand this principle, that God offers us opportunities for blessings and blesses us through our own adversities and the adversities of others, we can understand why He has commanded us again and again to “thank the Lord thy God in all things” (D&C 59:7).
Dallin H. Oaks, “Give Thanks in All Things,” Ensign, May 2003, 95

We have been so incredibly blessed! I'm thankful for the reminder that I need to be grateful for all things. Even adversity.

You know, gray’s my favorite color.

2009-10-23T20:51:00.003-06:00

Some days I get this strange desire to write. Not just anecdotal humor from the goofy events of my life, but more like I’m stifling a poet, starving her of the chance to actually be allowed to write for the sake of writing. Stifling. It’s intentional. I don’t need any more reasons to be introverted, so I smother her. That same girl who cries about everything , wants to be a princess, loves pink, knows that her Dad will always be the biggest man in the world, and believes in fairytales (you know, real ones).

But for whatever reason, I never was that girl. Not a big deal, it's just not who I was. I never cried about anything. Princesses didn’t play with legos, Ninja Turtles, or Curtis and Carl. I hate pink. My dad… well, he will always be the biggest man in the world. I’ve yet to meet someone bigger than him. But fairytales were silly- I mean, come on, let’s be realistic. Just like writing. Seriously? I’ll tell you about the "foreboding" clouds- variations in pressure cause them to accumulate, the accumulation blocks the sun, humidity changes, and sometimes it thunders. Call it whatever you want, that’s what happens. Simple as that.

And then I have days like yesterday.

I felt so symbolic yesterday. If I knew Picasso…

I would buy a guitar. I would play. This kind of odd mood is great for getting me back into songwriting.

It was odd. Odd for me, anyway. As I drove home from work, the sky was exactly what I was feeling. It was raining. Nothing too crazy, heavier than a drizzle, but not the usual Florida downpour. The kind of rain that requires wipers, but on a low setting, just to be safe, but the sky was not the customary gray. It was a beautiful blue. The sun was shining brightly, as if to remind you that for as miserable a day as the rain made it seem, there really was nothing to worry about. You’ll get a little bit wet, but it will be over soon, and you can already see the sun smiling knowingly behind the clouds. Sometimes, I’m more than grateful for the visual of something much bigger than me, or the sun. The day did seem miserable. I could have given a million reasons for that, but none of them very good. Or really, even valid. It took a blue sky to convince me of the notion I’d had all day, but I just let it nag instead of giving it any real attention. And I wanted to write about the imagery. 1) I never think about imagery. 2) I don't write.

It’s reflecting on days like yesterday that bring me to the realization that I don’t have to stifle that other girl who doesn’t seem to be me. I can cry about things without bawling my eyes out over spilled milk. I can want to be treated like a princess without wanting to wear frilly dresses. I can be okay with chance moods of poetic imagery without fearing becoming a psycho-introvert who trades pages and pens for human interaction.

And I certainly won’t ever be lost in fairytale land, but that doesn’t mean I can’t wish for one and believe it really can happen. Within reason, of course.

2009-10-11T09:54:00.001-06:00

My sister was having me critique her college application essays. She just handed me a stack, saying something along the lines of, "sorry if it's kind of a mess, these are first drafts, I'm over the word limit on all of them, and if I made some stuff up, don't hang me." I sorted through the stuff she made up, was amazed at her writing skills, and as I handed them back to her, I realized I'd missed one.

No sorting through creative liberties this time.

I love her.

"Who am I? I'm the opposite of my sister. She has brown hair and green eyes, offsetting my blond hair and blue eyes. She's short; I outgrew her years ago. But our differences are deeper. She's outgoing, but keeps friends at a distance. I'm selective but confide everything in the friends I have. She's lively on weekends; I curl up with my book. She's lackadaisical when I literally cry over spilled milk. She excelled in high school. I learned the hard way. She waddles like a duck; I strut like a peacock. I love making lists that she loves to lose. I aced AP English, she bested AP Biology. She writes Spanish poetry; I create monologues. She's overbearing, and I'm painfully shy... We both struggle with emotions; I vocalize volumes and she expresses excerpts. We are different. The hardest thing I learned is that 'different' isn't unequal. I spent years measuring up to her until I learned better. She's no longer the sister people like best, but my best friend, the way I define myself, my equal, and the mirror where I find who I really am."

A Pattern For Success

2009-09-26T14:18:00.001-06:00

I'm a science/math-minded person. I like to look at trends in things, looking for patterns- patterns in the way a room is designed, patterns in the way businesses are run, patterns in the events that happen throughout the day or week, patterns in the way people do things. I'm trying to make rules for the way things happen. That’s what my science and math teachers have taught me, and I like that trend, I want absolute rules that apply to every situation. Odd, because for as much as I like to make rules, I hate to have to follow any myself. I like to think I'm unpredictable, so I sometimes try to vary any repetitive activity, doing it in as different a way as possible so I won't be predictable, which is a sort of rule, which makes me exactly what I didn't want to be in the first place.

Even more odd, though, is the fact that I usually do things so unconventionally by accident. Often because I think too hard about it. I think about the millions of things related to some small, simple decision. I imagine intense repercussions from reactions I wasn't expecting, whether positive or negative, and in trying to plan for my response to that, I end up making a decision based on a reaction I don't actually know that I'll be given. Sick, huh? And that's just the small stuff. Big decisions- Forget it.

But I digress.

Patterns. I look for patterns because, apart from rules, I want to find consistency, and, once I've found it, learn from it. I'm very quickly becoming aware of the fact that there are not always patterns in every single part of everyday life. Because the gospel is centered on four basic principles, however, everything we learn can be tied to those principles. A couple of weekends ago I attended my home stake conference for the first time in what seems like years. I really enjoyed stake conference, and most of the reasons I enjoyed it related to finding patterns. Most of the speakers were people I've known for years, and it was comforting to see their styles of presenting their information consistent with their character and personalities, even though I haven't seen them since the last time I was at least our stake conference. Even those whom I didn't know as well showed patterns consistent with the little bit I did know about them. The pattern I found in the theme of the stake conference was what was most interesting. At the beginning of the adult session, our stake president explained that the entire conference would be focused on “planning”. During the adult session, this theme was made obvious by every speaker; each explained his or her topic, how planning related directly, and spent their time teaching about the correlation. The general session speakers, however, were not nearly as direct. Each speaker was assigned or chose to speak on almost completely different things; I loved finding how the theme of planning fit with each one.

That night, Sister Dalton spoke at the CES fireside. She spoke of the need to return to virtue, explaining that this "is the run of [our] lives,"(similar themes as her talk given at the General Young Women Meeting), and we need to encourage the return of our society to moral purity and chastity. If we don't do it, who will?

It was a fantastic fireside, and I came away from it trying to link all of the things that had been taught the last few days, and then, make it fit with my life. Besides applying the label "Gospel truths," I struggled.

And then I came across "Living Right" by Elder Scott. After he introduces his topic, explaining his desire to share some lessons with us that will help us in our own lives, he lays out what he calls, “A Pattern for Success.” I love when we’re given just what we’re looking for. But it is much, much better than just using the same word I was using.

Elder Scott reminds us of the principles upon which faith is based, and then expounds on each, explaining the vital significance and how it relates to building and maintaining our character. I found it interesting that Elder Scott even used some of the phrases I used in my own thinking, even that I used in this post, and from it we learn:

"The pattern of the Lord is for His children to make decisions based upon eternal truth. This requires that your life continue to be centered in the commandments of God. Thus, decisions are made in accordance with unchanging truths, aided by prayer and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. In addition to your own strength and capacity, you will enjoy divine inspiration and power when needed. Your actions will be predictable and will bless the lives of all in the circle of your influence. You will have a meaningful life of purpose, peace, and happiness… There is no guarantee that life will be easy for anyone. We grow and learn more rapidly by facing and overcoming challenges. You are here to prove yourself, to develop, and to overcome. There will be constant challenges that cause you to think, to make proper judgments, and to act righteously. You will grow from them. " Richard G. Scott, “Living Right,” Ensign, Jan 2007, 10–15

“Your actions will be predictable…” and will bless lives. I guess it's okay to be predictable :)

I would love to copy every point that Elder Scott makes and relate it to my life and express what a brilliantly inspired talk this is, but I think anyone who reads it will quickly learn that for themselves. Please read it. I don’t imagine the message he shares is any principle or idea we’ve never heard before, but his ability to deliver this message, specifically by the mantle of his calling as an apostle of the Lord, is the reason we need to hear it from him. Let the power of his testimony help strengthen us. That is exactly what it’s there to do.

Bridian.

2009-09-17T20:24:00.005-06:00

I was sitting on my bed, reading stuff on my laptop, and Bridian was asleep next to me. Suddenly, she wakes up, looks at her phone, then throws it across the room into the wall.

"What did you do that for?"
"Facebook."
"What about Facebook frustrates you so much that throwing it against the wall would help?"
"If I try to go to the second page, it shuts off."

She's totally serious. I didn't think she was very awake or very aware of what she was doing, especially since her response didn't exactly merit any sort of intelligible reply, so I just laugh at her.

"I'm sure that will help."

So I went back to reading, and I started laughing at one part of the article I was looking at. Brid, who's now awake and paying slightly more attention, asks why I'm laughing. So I read her a part of the article about Murphy's and other related laws. Bridian then responds:

"What's weird to me is how I hit people."

What?

We started talking about how violent Bridian is. She explained how she hits people and smacks them for various injustices, and pinches them with her toes. She also explains how she doesn't allow people to touch her, or do any of the things she does to them.

"If people do that to me, I would throw them on the ground, stomp on their heads, and crush their hearts."

And then, before I have a chance to really react besides laughing so hard there are tears streaming down my face, Bridian picks up a book off the bed and chucks that across the room. She leaned over and grabbed the screen of my laptop, but she decided to let go. Without crushing my heart.

I'm really not sure how to react to any of this. I told her about one time she actually threatened to throw my laptop across the room and I was terrified that she would actually do it. To this day, I know she would've. I don't know how I managed to defray her anger that day, but I have been thrown on the ground before. She went off again about how she beats on people, and I said, "You know, the funny thing is, you used to be such a shy little girl."

Bridian doesn't miss a beat. "I'm STILL shy. I'm just a devil to those I know!"

I made the mistake of telling her that I quote her in my gmail status. I randomly attributed some quote to her the other day because I found it in some forward she sent me and it didn't have an author. So I credited it to her. I told her that. "I quote you on my gmail status. The most recent: Happiness is an unexpected hug. -Brid." "HOMOPHOBE!"

Common response from Bridian. I don't know how writing something that gay makes me afraid of homosexuals, but then, I know better than to question Bridian's wisdom. On pain of death.

I told her I would change it. She said, "You better change it, or I'll reach up your nose and rip your brains out your nostrils."

Now, with the explanation I just gave of how serious I take Bridian's threats, you would think that the next line would be "I peed my pants in fear." On the contrary. The only thing even remotely wet was my face. I'm still crying from laughing so hard. Bridian didn't really appreciate that response to her serious threat. She made some other grotesquely graphic and violent threat that I don't remember because I was trying to see my computer through my tears. While I don't fear for my safety, I'm still worried about my computer.

Bridian then said, "Am I getting better? Am I like Travis?" Travis, the infamous EFY counselor that was getting old my first session and was making wild and much worse grotesquely graphic and violent threats to his kids Brid's last year of EFY, said things like, "I'll skin you with a rusted potato peeler and roll your fleshless corpse down a driveway of salt" to the kids in his company.

"Yes, Bridian. You are getting better. Just like Travis." (said between gasps of breath, still trying desperately to be able to see normally and talk without dying.)

And then Bridian says, "I wonder if my phone works..."

2009-09-07T10:39:00.001-06:00

Thanks Bobbi

2009-08-17T11:43:00.004-06:00

The majority of my co-workers staff has spent the morning cleaning out Bobbi's office. I don't really want to be back there, so I'm really grateful I have to stay at the front desk.

They've been bringing up the things they've found as they clean out the cabinets and desk drawers, and it's been really entertaining, aside from nostalgic, to investigate things that they're finding.

Never underestimate the intelligence of a mother.

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but noticing how beautiful John's roommate was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started to wonder if there was more between John and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you that Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:
"Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you did take the gravy ladle from my house, I'm not saying that you did not take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother, which read:
"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the face remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom"

And that's why we love Bobbi.

Just another lazy day afternoon...

2009-07-21T10:33:00.009-06:00

What happens when Krista and Lys haven't been around each other for a month...

and Kris doesn't get dressed til 3 and wants to get out of the apartment.

First, Claire's. We wanted hott pink leggings, but found some other...treasures. We have every intention of getting them later.

We were drawn into this store because of the Mario/Nintento messenger bags. The deception...
The comments after we left this store included "loss of innocence," "scarred for life," and "well, I guess we didn't actually lose our innocence because we knew what it meant..." "Dang it."

Cute Kris.

Look! I'm Dave Buck!

And then... we found the greatest store in the mall. With workers oblivious to the fact that we were running back and forth between stalls with a camera.

We know. We're pretty cool.

Then we found another perfect shirt for Krista...

Which is, of course, why I'm blogging about this and she isn't.

The mall wasn't the end of our adventures. Actually, just those pictures aren't the end of the mall adventures, but we'll leave some details for Krista. We went to FHE where we made covered wagons for Pioneer Day. Wanting to just be unique and then blowing unique out of proportion...

We recreated George Orwell's Animal Farm. Pioneer style.

...which we promptly dumped at Jared's apartment. I mean... brought over as a gift :)

He appreciated it. And he offered a great end to the sunlit part of our day:

"It's good to see this duo together again."

He has no idea.

home sweet home

2009-07-17T09:34:00.000-06:00

After missing my family for the Fourth of July weekend (and various events leading up to that...), I decided to fly home and was on a plane within a few hours. Gosh, I love being able to do that. Red-eye to Atlanta, almost missing the 8:30 to Fort Lauderdale...

I don't really see the need for sleep, so it's not like the red-eye was the first night getting less than I should. I'd only gotten a couple hours the night before, my nap was about 45 minutes, and I was so tired when I got on the plane that I fell asleep before I was allowed to recline my seat. I never got comfortable, by the time I remembered I could put my seat back the captain was announcing that we were about to land, so with two hours to spare between one flight and the next, I crashed at the gate. I woke up at the final boarding call and jumped up to run onto the plane. Only I had fallen asleep in a weird position on my leg, so my leg didn't exactly cooperate. I jumped up and my knee jerked backwards and I sat back down. I couldn't understand what was going on, I did not want to miss this flight, so I jumped up again. This time I made it a few more seats down and, were I a swearing girl, I would've yelled some expletive. I'm pretty sure it was still an expletive for me, just not the real world. The flight attendant looked at me like I was a freak. Not an uncommon look to be thrown my direction. I smacked my leg for a few seconds, tried to jump up again and was pleasantly surprised that I was able to walk. The travel guy took my ticket and tried not to make eye contact, hoping I would get away from him as fast as I could. Maybe he thought I was drunk?

Church started 15 minutes after I landed, so my dad called to tell me that they would be there in a few minutes and that I needed to be ready. I didn't realize I loved my apartment bathroom so much. I mean, the airport offers nice stalls for privacy. They have sinks, mirrors too. And women who are trying to mop the floor because there was no on in the restroom before you walked in. Wonderful. A wonderful experience all the way around. I walked into sacrament meeting with my mom and her friend that came to pick me up (the rest of my fam was already there) and sat down as people were starting to bear their testimonies. It was Fast Sunday. Because of my last minute decision, I don't know that most of my siblings knew I was coming. I was mobbed. Luis, my best friend from when I was three, was just called to be in the bishopric. I'm pretty sure it was his first fast and testimony meeting, and he'd only been enjoying the view from the pulpit for the duration of the sacrament for a week or so. He was laughing so hard watching my siblings jump on me, trying to stay reverent while we expressed, as only the Mortensens do, how much we missed each other. Unfortunately, we hadn't caught up enough by the end of sacrament meeting. My dad and mom and I went to Sunday school, and we didn't have a teacher immediately, so my dad and I were talking about flights, life, all the ridiculous things that happened in the last 12 hours, and we missed the Sunday school president walking in and explaining that he doesn't have a teacher, so he doesn't have a lesson, so he's just going to wing it. My mom, trying to get me to pay attention, says to the teacher, "Alyssa will say the opening prayer!" She got me. I stood up to say the prayer, having no idea what the president had just been explaining, so I proceeded to bless him for preparing a lesson, praying that he'd be able to give us the message he prepared. I didn't learn what he said til after I sat down. And then I felt like an idiot.

I was only home for a couple of days after that weekend before I flew back to Salt Lake to figure out if I had a job. Turns out I don't. So I flew back home to babysit while my parents visit Prague and Berlin. Oh my family...

It's been an eventful week, to say the least. Last night at about 2 Bridian starts yelling that she needs help. I was reluctant to come running because, well, the hour. That, and she and Jace had just been arguing about something, which should've clued me in, but I felt like if they had the energy to argue, they had the energy to figure it out. Then I decided that was probably a bad assumption, and walked into the kitchen where she was yelling from. I made it out of the hallway and everything was covered in smoke. Somehow, the toaster oven had been put on bake rather than toast? Or something? I couldn't even see Bridian. I saw a towel waving in front of where the toaster oven should be, and I'm just waiting for the fire alarms to go off and wake up the little girls, grandma, and the entire neighborhood. We start running around trying to open windows and fan out the smoke, Brid's refusing to open the toaster oven because she doesn't want all that smoke coming out!, we pull it open and start running toast out the back door, we're pulling fans from other rooms to get it blowing out, the stove fan is running on high, Jace has got a wet towel on his face and is instructing everyone to do the same so they don't die, Jada's hiding under a blanket on the couch...

I don't know why they were all still up. As soon as it seemed like we weren't going to have to call the fire department (and Jace would take the towel off his face), I went to bed. I was grateful the house was still standing, and in one piece, when I got up this morning. None of them are up yet.
Last night I was exhausted- between CalvinBall and line tag and volleyball practice with Brid and then getting everybody fed and ready to sleep, I wasn't up for fighting little kids to go to sleep, so I laid down by Aria. Yeah, I was out in about 5 minutes. Brid still wanted to play, but she knew if she came in and woke me up I would probably growl at her. So she let me sleep for an hour. At about ten, I woke up and realized I should probably get out of Aria's bed, but I wasn't ready to move really quickly just yet. Then, from under the girls' bedroom door, I see the piano room light come on, hear the bench scrape across the tile as someone sits down, and suddenly themes from Phantom of the Opera start being pounded into the keys. I tried so hard not to laugh. That was amazing. Bridian wanted me to get up, so Phantom of the Opera. I tried to stay in the room, I couldn't let her win, but after Aria and Kenyan got up to ask Brid why she was playing so loud, I couldn't stay in the room either. So I ran into the other room and sat down at the computer, refusing to let anyone acknowledge that I was awake. I was so bent on this fact that I locked the door. Jace knew I was up, and he didn't see the locked door as a problem. He went outside, popped the screen out of the window, and climbed in through the bathroom in my parents' bedroom. I was so much in my own little world that I didn't hear the things falling off the window, his landing in the bathroom, or even notice when he walked across the room. He unlocked the door, walked through it, then walked back in and started talking to me. I assumed he'd used a screwdriver to unlock the door, and I started to be upset with him for messing with their doorknob, but he started laughing at my total cluelessness to anything that had been going on. I congratulated he and Bridian. They're pretty good at what they do.

Anyway... I've loved being home. I'm not entirely sure how we're all still alive, but hey. I'm counting my blessings. It's been a great week. And now, at 9 in the morning, I'm going to go take a nap.

2009-06-23T10:25:00.002-06:00

I thought summer would be the best time for me to actually become consistent with updating again.

As far as the stories go, it's the best time to write things down. But because of all of the stories, it's the worst time to update. The stories fill in time I would update this thing. Or I choose to believe that, anyway.

For a better update that I could write anyway, see Krista :)

phones. bah.

2009-06-03T09:18:00.005-06:00

Inbox: 1062
Sent Items: 956

I hate when this happens. It means I have to delete stuff.

My phone is either the bane of my existence or the greatest thing ever. Funny how it can never be a happy medium. Sometimes phones are good for things like people calling to remind you to do things. Or being other people's alarms. Last semester, my brother and I had this system where where he would wake me up because he's two hours ahead of me and didn't have to get up early to do it. So he would text me every morning at 9 or 9:30 so that I would be up by 7 or 7:30. Then he got his phone stolen at one of his track meets, so we dropped our system. A couple of days ago, he decided to pick it up again. Without warning. I didn't mind it too much because I still need to get up about the same time but not quite as early, and I always stay up too late, so morning usually comes before I'm ready, but then he decided that calling me would be okay. I don't need to be awake until closer to 8 and if he calls at 7 it's a good day. I hung up on him the first morning. He texted me and expressed his displeasure with that one. I'm sure I told him that I didn't care and he should leave me alone. It's a darn good thing he's not easily offended. I also have this strange curse of waking up at 6AM. Every morning. No reason. I just wake up. I groan and roll over and try to go back to sleep. It might have worked, but then my brother called. Of course. Then as soon as I ignored that call, he follows up with a stream of text messages asking me "What's up?" "Why didn't you answer your phone?" "hey! wake up!" etc. I wanted to hang him. He's lucky he lives in another state. He forgets we'll be in the same house in just over a week. He's so dead. Especially because when I told him that was not ok, he laughed at me. He asked why I was out so late, I explained the graduation in Logan, he said, "Haha. Wow. Life of the party." I didn't go to bed til something like 2, I was exhausted, and he, because of my phone, woke me up super early. So at work, I walk in and the first words out of my mouth, Erica says, "Wow. Somebody's sassy today." I don't even remember what I said. I'm a little worried about what happens when I'm sleep deprived. Rich was just singing his re-written version of Justin Timberlake's "What Goes Around" with something about institutional verifications. Bobbi walked by and said, "Alyssa, let's take your longboard off a short pier." When I said, "I feel great about that," she said, "We could pull a Thelma and Louise" (and then proceeded to explain it to me. I didn't catch the reference...)

I need to take a nap. And I'll think about turning off my phone, but I probably won't.

2009-05-19T10:35:00.002-06:00

Launchpad Night Club‎

618 Central Ave SW

Albuquerque, NM 87102

(505) 764-8887

launchpadrocks.com

Mae has this picture up on their website, listed in New Mexico. Family of mine: does anyone else besides me think this is really amusing?

Flight plan

2009-05-07T12:09:00.002-06:00

Rules changed, we're good to go.
I'm starting a list of all the places I want to see, and lots of them are ideas I'm getting from friends on missions. My traveling buddy doesn't have a passport, and if she doesn't get one soon, I'm going to be looking for applicants.

James, at the Rodin museum in Paris. Next goal. Anybody want to go to France?

here we are unbroken and here we are much the same

2009-05-05T12:35:00.007-06:00

Oh you're never gonna get it, so get it right

There's just some things I will never understand. I'm well aware but still only starting to accept that life is one of them. Of course, I understand the purpose, but sometimes the means to that end? I feel like Rookie of the Year explained it perfectly. Clear as mud.

In realizing that I have little control over my life, no matter how hard I try, I'm often inclined to just go with what happens. Not just a "roll with the punches" sort of attitude (I feel like I had that one forced on me a long time ago), but, for example... when I have a lot of options of various opportunities to pursue, all seem like good options, and I'm not getting a solid answer on which one to choose, I've found that the one I need to go with slides into place before I have time to argue. I'm so grateful for that. Heavenly Father clearly knows how indecisive I am. But the more I think about the apparent lack of decision making in my life, I'm shown different ways that I actually did have a say in that decision. I just made the decision a long time ago.

Example 1: Krista Isom

This is actually the exact opposite of how our relationship works of late. That is not to say that it's typical for me to be the supportive role in our relationship and her to need the support, but in this picture, she's got me in an awkward hug and I'm the one holding up boards to keep them from falling on us. This explains the majority of my relationships with other people. I feel like I have to be the stable, rock-solid, emotionless one, especially when other people around me are falling or feeling like their worlds are crumbling. I feel like I'm important to them if I'm doing all of the work. Sick, I know. Fortunately, there are people like Krista in my life that remind me how healthy relationships are supposed to work. Where it seems just wonderful, random chance that she would be in my life right now, I realize that's a choice I made a while ago. I don't like asking people for help, and I'm really not even very good at accepting it when it's offered, but I did once. I needed help, help I didn't realize I needed, and when she offered, I took her up on it. I don't think she knows it, but she's teaching me what "give and take" means. It meant the world to me when, while I was staring off into space the other day, thinking I was safe with a blank expression while I tried desperately to figure out what was wrong with me, she stopped what she was doing and hopped up on the bed just to sit next to me. She didn't say anything, she didn't try to give me a hug and make it all better, just sat next to me. That was all the support I needed. It's amazing to me that I can learn so much, and on a regular basis, from someone who gets annoyed with me when I do things like get the peanut butter and jelly song stuck in her head. I should probably warn her that I love that song, and I will probably try to get it stuck in her head on a more regular basis, too.

Example 2: Turning into a vampire

(Jada called it that. I thought it was hilarious, I wanted to use it and give her credit!)
I just started a phlebotomy class. It's a stepping stone to EMT cert, eventually some sort of medical profession... at least, that's the plan right now. I felt like taking the class was kind of a last minute decision, and I hate making fairly big decisions that way, especially when they have any sort of economic impact (it's not exactly a cheap investment). I had put thought into it, I had done research, it does fit with my education goals, and it was a sensible plan, I just wasn't sure it was right for me right now. I decided to still go to at least the first class to get a feel for it, it was recommended that I make a decision after at least attending one lecture, and then make a final decision after that. I was again amazed at the results. How could this kind of a decision just fall into place? I hadn't given it as lengthy of a thought process as I wanted! But then, that's the promise we've been made if we're living as we should. That wasn't a recently made choice either.

Example 3: Julie, Jess, Trent, Beth, Marsh, Mom, Jada, Jared, David, Erica, Rich, Micah...
and several other people I've talked to in the last 24 hours. I kind of talk a lot...
Actually, I won't elaborate on each person I've talked to or what realization I came to about decisions and things falling into place in talking to each of them. I feel like a sufficient conclusion on this one would be to say that some of the best answers come in the form of other people, angels as they might be. I think this provides support of the first two examples, choosing to be around good people and living the way that you should to be able to receive answers when you ask for them or when you need them.

Maybe that is the best place to conclude. The best way to have things go well for you is to try your hardest to live the way the Prophets have taught. They've promised us we'll find happiness if we do. Who would have guessed they really know what they are talking about? :)

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T14:50:00.003-06:00

Krista's dad gave us chocolate bunnies before sacrament meeting... whoops :)

the art of technology

2009-04-07T15:41:00.004-06:00

yes, another post about my phone. but I couldn't resist not sharing this one.

So today started out kind of awful because of technology. Well, no I should take accountability for my actions. It was my fault, but it involved technology. I had my headphones in when I walked out of class, and then I stepped on this girl's ankle as we all shuffled out the door. No major damage, I didn't sprain it or anything, but I still apologized. She didn't turn around, so I didn't worry about it any further. Until we walked outside, where she did turn around, and she smiled at me at said something along the lines of, "That's ok." At least, I assume she did. I had my headphones in. So I don't really have any idea what she said. But she turned back around, so I didn't worry about it. But then she turned around again and started saying something (I assume, again, judging by her waving arms and smile) about the weather. I started to pull my headphones out so I could listen, but she'd stopped talking, again, and walked ahead of me. I felt awful! That's why I shouldn't walk around with headphones! Oh I felt so terrible. I could've talked to her, I could've been the least bit cordial... I also felt a little bit executive-y because I was prepping for a presentation for a proposal, and I struggle with coming across as very distant anyway, so I really felt like the image I was giving off was "I'm way too cool for you." It made me sick.
I was texting one of my friends about it, trying to figure out why I should or shouldn't feel as terrible as I did, and we were talking about technology. He told me I should just make up for it and definitely talk to her if I saw her again! I said that of COURSE I would, I just didn't know if I would see her again!
When I got over my guilt enough to put one of my headphones back in, I had another opportunity to communicate with someone. I was happy to redeem myself. I texted back this same friend,
"My restitution: I smiled and waved and made this man's day. With my headphones in. He was deaf :) "

And then, probably the funniest part of my day.
A couple of opportunities presented themselves for great pictures to be shared with other people, potentially making their day a little brighter by the laughter that ensued. Or I should say would have ensued. Had I been able to take the pictures.

The first was supposed to be of one of our school's athletic teams. This may have actually scarred the individual it was supposed to go to, but it scarred me so I thought I would let someone else appreciate the scarring. Mostly because she truly would've appreciated it. This team was wearing tennis shorts (after some debating, that was the conclusive name. I don't know what they're called, but imagine some ridiculously small and revealing shorts) and nothing else. Well, sneakers. I don't know why that is allowed on campus. Really? How is that more modest than girls with mini-skirts and leggings? At least they have leggings on! They ran a little faster than I was able to cope with, as the resulting picture ended up of my bike tire. I'm sure the quality of the picture, or the attempt at what I was supposed to be capturing, had nothing to do with the fact that with one hand I was taking the picture and the other I was steering the above wheel.

This one was supposed to be only of the boy in the distance. His wardrobe choice today included a bright pink shirt under a sky-blue zip-up hoodie and a pair of girl's skinny jeans. Really, the policy of don't ask don't tell? Nobody had to ask about this one.
I was going to text this to one of my friends that wears girls jeans (not skinny jeans, just the regular type) with the warning "Don't ever dress like this. We may not be friends" but I wasn't quick enough to take the picture with the detail that I wanted. But had I stopped the guy to take his picture, we may have been friends anyway. And then I'd be a hypocrite.

I didn't actually send these messages, so to those of you that missed out (or were spared) by not receiving these, my sincere apologies!

And it’s slowed to just a trickle now but I wish that it was pouring out ‘cause there’s so much here to write about…

2009-03-24T09:14:00.002-06:00

This is a line I love from a song I adore from a band I don’t understand why they aren’t everyone’s favorite. This line tends to apply to my life and how I feel about it, more often than not.

Here’s one that’s better for me:

“Slow down girl.”

I ran into my old office today because I knew that my grapefruit lotion would still be sitting on the counter, right where I left it, and my hands were aching and bleeding because of the random shift from the preview of spring we’ve gotten the past few weeks.

I shouldn’t say random. It’s Utah.

I always say hi to Bobbi, the 60-something-year-old ready-to-retire advisor in the office, and she’s my absolute favorite in that office. I always mean to just say a quick hello, the conventional “How are you?” but as soon as I step into her cubicle I know I’ll be awhile. And not that it’s her fault. I just really love talking to her. She asked how life was going, reminding me that it’s a four letter word. I said, “Oh, it’s alright. The usual, you know.” “Spitting at you?” “Yeah…”
I told her about my gymnastics/biking combination, how I haven’t been able to walk the past few days and how my coach laughed at me for it. I told her that when I work out, I don’t know when to stop if I’m by myself. When I’m with others, they set the pace and I stop when they do. I don’t know where I got that kind of stamina, but I just keep pushing myself. I’ve had some running days where I run with the guys and do whatever I need to to stay at their pace, and as soon as we’re done, I collapse. I don’t know my own limits.

I was talking about my physical limits. Bobbi said, “When are you going to figure that out?” I started to go on about making a workout routine, setting some time restrictions, but she interrupted and said, “No, no, for life. When are you going to figure that out?”
I love that about Bobbi. She’s really good at making one story about one aspect of my life apply to how I should run the all of it.

I shrugged. “I dunno.” “How old are you?” “Twenty.” She laughed. “You’ve got plenty of time.”

She then proceeded to tell me about an interview she was watching with a guy who frequents the top of Mt. Everest, and the interviewer was asking him about his hardest trips. On one of his trips, he was climbing with a friend. At some point in the climb, there is a ledge, which has been named “The Balcony,” and when this climber’s friend reached this point, he sat down on the ledge and died. Just like that. The conventional course of action (for climbers, anyway) is to leave the deceased in their place. I suppose carrying a body down the length of the mountain would be more of an impossible feat than that of climbing Everest, but other climbers have died on their way up. The man’s friend was not alone on the ledge. The man said that the hardest climb was the climb after that one. It was hard to lose his friend, but it was even harder going up and seeing where his friend was buried in the ice.

Bobbi continued to tell me about the things learned from the interview, but what we pulled back to was slowing down and knowing our limits. This was kind of a weird way to have this brought to my attention, but I typically ignore reminders to slow down. People tell me that all the time. When I graduated from Young Women, they gave me a book, The Book for People Who Do Too Much.

I constantly run. I try to get as many things into a week as possible. Or a day, for that matter. I used to be pretty good at keeping things consistent; the hundred things I did a day were at least related to the million that got done that week. Now I feel like I’m just going for variety. I still want to do a million things, but it doesn’t really matter what they are, as long as I’m busy.

That’s ridiculous.

Monotony is probably one of my greatest fears. I don’t think I know how to do the same thing the same thing twice. I think it’s part of the reason I take off as frequently as I do (well… free flights excluded). I think I’m afraid of being boring. Or maybe because my life never was boring growing up, nor could it be predicted, I don’t feel like it can be now. I remembered the other day a kid in my eigth grade class and his commenting on my frequent absenses. I disappeared for a couple of weeks, and when I got back, Eric Rizzo said,”Alyssa picked up and left again, to who knows where. She’s back, but she’ll leave again soon.” I wondered where we’d flown to that time, and then I realized we weren’t flying then. That’s just how my family’s always been. (We’d driven to Sanford that week because we thought we’d be attending a funeral. We cleaned out a cemetery and went four-wheeling for two weeks instead.)

Life needs to have more direction than that. When I was growing up, my parents’ direction was to teach me what was important, help me realize what good goals were and how to make my own. And then they watched me rocket off into my own world. We’ve been given so much direction with the restored gospel, I know what things are essential, but the Lord doesn’t outline everything for us. We have to figure that out for ourselves. That’s not easy, but it’s even harder when we fill our lives with things that don’t mean anything. Elder Oaks taught, "We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives." That's just the start of prioritizing. There's so much more to life than keeping out getting caught up doing good things. (This article will appear in my next post, I'm sure.)

In the last few days, I’ve spent a lot of time just focusing on what I was doing and enjoying it thoroughly. On Saturday, I went to the ball fields with my grandparents and cousins and we played softball for a couple of hours. I left my phone, I didn’t have any commitments that night, I just put all of my attention into playing softball. Partially because I haven’t played since the shiner in second grade, but still. I went to dinner with my grandparents afterwards. I just enjoyed being with them, I didn’t try to focus on being anywhere else or doing anything else. Sunday, Jared came down from Salt Lake. I hadn’t made any commitments for Sunday except to be at the temple dedication, the reason Jared came down, and so I spent the day being reminded why we were such good friends in high school. Monday I taught jump rope to little kids that don’t know how to focus on more than one thing at time, and because I had a handful of them, I had to focus on just them too. I think I know why Jeremy does it. Monday night, I went to see all of the Haynies but found myself looking for just Cara. We jumped on the trampoline for what seemed like hours, talking about all the things we did in Florida and how we need to keep doing them.
When I give all my attention to something, I really, really enjoy it. That seems so obvious now, but I’ve missed the obvious for a while. I regularly let in too many distractions. I need to a few things well, instead of trying to be able to spit out half-hearted versions of everything. Otherwise, that will be me on that ledge of Everest. I won’t even remember what I’m doing there when I sit down, and I’ll just keel over.

Bobbi’s little story seemed an odd way to be reminded of what’s important, but it was one I needed. I told her I would take it easy, and she said something along the lines of, “Slow down, girl!” I was promised angels. I guess I just wasn’t expecting, and haven’t yet fully come to appreciate, the ones that are always around me.

03.19.08

2009-03-16T11:21:00.002-06:00

When I got home Saturday night and returned to the disaster area that is currently my room, I found a letter that I wrote to my sister last year (it’s in the mail, Brid!).

I wanted to post the anecdote I shared with her.

So I was at a concert for Broken Hearted Rounds (the band of the guys in my ward, Nat, Derek, John) at the clubhouse of our apartment (you know, the one where you went running for 30 seconds or so) and Josh and Bryce and other John and April were watching them too. Josh asked me to dance (odd. Who dances at a concert? But also, not a real concert, and also- it’s Josh.) So we start slow dancing, kind of waltzing, and I said, (quoting what Josh has told me previously) "What happened to not dancing except to make other people laugh?"

In the margin of the paper I have written “I don’t like to dance unless I’m making other people laugh." -Josh C. Guest

He said, "I don’t know what you’re talking about." And then. We started dancing. Which here means flinging each other across the 3’X3’ square we had to dance in (you’ve seen the clubhouse) in a violent version of the waltz. And then we started to spin to the point that Josh picked me up off the ground and was spinning me around airplane-little-kid style. Actually, he wasn’t holding one ankle and one wrist, so… bad example. At any rate, spinning me around, then he lost his balance and actually did fling me across the room and then landed on top of me. I was laughing so hard, Josh felt so bad, but it was pretty fun(ny), even with the huge bruise on my hip that lasted a week or so. Ah, life.

Definition poll

2009-03-02T11:56:00.003-07:00

I want to know how people define "courage," what it means, how it applies to decision making and life in general, and why you think your definition is unique. Please comment with your response or email me!

alyssa.mortensen@gmail.com

I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in...

2009-02-19T11:38:00.002-07:00

I always hate cleaning out my texts because I hate deleting messages. I always get a kick out of reading them. But then it starts to get obnoxious deleting a message at a time so I can read the next incoming message or send a draft. I think texting is a ridiculous form of communication, even though I average 3,000 sent texts a month...
it's quick, pretty convenient, and often really entertaining. So my average keeps going up.

From my inbox and outbox:

"I'd recommend against [drilling holes in your head]. A little too messy."

":) I know. Wtf"

"If your church starts at eight thirty, and you're always ten minutes late, then you will still be ten minutes late, even when church starts at noon. According to mom."

"U need a bike that's what u need! A 250 cc :) "

"I know what the answer meant. It's just still frustrating. 'Whether you marry him or not, this is what you're prepping for. And it's glorious. But right now, I'm laughing at you.' thanks Dad."

"Every time I think I understand your gender!!"

"I'm gonna pound Kenyan! I went in and your wise men were bringing new gifts!"

"Fine roll your eyes at the work of the Lord be my guest"

">:(. I hate texting."

"...___'s making my life a living you know what. Chastise him, please."

"Maaaaan. Hold on, this belongs on facebook!"

"DTR= BYU slang. Weirdos."

"After I say something potentially damaging to our friendships, it is not kind to stay silent!"

"Teeth are important."

"I finally fell on my head today. Fun"

"Now go study. You've got the eye of the tiger ;)"

probably had something to do with my first picture...

2009-02-04T16:01:00.002-07:00

Jackie Chan?! Really?!?!

Thanks Peter

2009-01-28T11:59:00.004-07:00

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

-Robert Frost

as quoted in The Inconvenient Messiah- Jeffrey R. Holland

(and as soon as I was done with that article I needed this... I wasn't around when the plane wrecked)

Bugs on the windshield

2009-01-27T11:23:00.006-07:00

My dad called me this morning (sometimes I wonder if he really does call to see if I'm awake... even so, I appreciate it) and said, "Sorry, I was supposed to call you back yesterday!"

He had to talk to the insurance guys, I went to class... we got busy. It was fine. He started to tell me how the insurance bit went. My mom and sister were in a pretty crazy accident on Saturday, (see her blog for that story), and it's been nothing but a hassle. That's why I'd called him the day before, I was freaking out. After mom's text on Saturday ("In a wreck. Totaled the van. Will update." Really?! What am I supposed to do then? Just calmly continue going about my day?!) and then no one answering my phone calls til Monday, I felt justified in flipping out just a little bit. Dad and I talked about it for a while, about why I freaked out, and I told him that I think I was scared so badly because I wasn't there dealing with the trauma with my fam. I haven't really done that before.
We talked about how our family could take stuff like this. It was more obvious to me that our family gets dealt a lot, and a lot of the time. The more we've proved we can handle, the more that's thrown at us. It's amazing to me how constant that stream is. I told my Dad that I hadn't realized how crazy that was when I was at home. That just seemed like our lives, that was normal, right? Hearing about it from the outside is a little bit harder.
Dad made the analogy of the bugs on the windshield when we drive up to Orlando. It's a three or so hour drive to get to the temple from our house, and every time we go, our windshield is covered in bugs. Three hours is not even that long of a trip, but somehow, you'd think we'd been driving for weeks with the number of splattered insects that end up on the windshield. But we don't have to pull over every time a bug hits our windshield. That's how life goes. We're trying to get back home, and our windshields get dirty. But we don't have to pull over and stop every time a bug hits us. We just need to make sure our wiper fluid stays full. Sometimes we do have to pull into a gas station and use one of their squeegees to be able to see. But we can't get through this life without help either. Somedays it may seem easier to abandon the car entirely and do something else, but we have to choose to keep going. Whether bugs and wipers represent adversity and trials or sin and the Atonement and others in our lives, respectively, I loved how simple it made this journey of ours. It's not easy, but it isn't hard to understand.

I got an email from my friend who just left the MTC. His thoughts have been on the same idea.

"This week, as I was contemplating the concept of keeping the commandments, I was bantering back and forth in mind why such is needed. The one side of the argument was complaining why I can’t have what I want. Why is it that we have to submit our wills to God, Church, etc.? I thought it highly unfair, that we can’t just do what we want, when we want it, and how we want it. Then, with just as much clarity as a DeBeers diamond, I recalled the true purpose of life. Life is a test. No ifs, ands, or buts. Our purpose in life is simply to see whether or not we will submit our wants and desires to Deity. As Jeffrey R. Holland put it, “There is no sign of convenience in our Christian creed.” And so I resigned myself again to obey."
(I'm still trying to cite Elder Holland's quote. I can't find it anywhere. I searched all of the articles Jeremy referenced, and I can't find it anywhere. Help?)

I'm so appreciative of the reminder to keep driving, regardless of bugs on my windshield. Even if I didn't have to be in the wreck to catch the reminder.

2009-01-20T13:18:00.002-07:00

I want to offer my sincerest apologies for causing any alarm by my venting! Especially because, well, when do I ever show emotion?
I learn the most by review of past episodes. I learned most from that experience talking it over with one of my family members who was really worried that I was losing my mind.

Don't worry, I haven't lost anything that wasn't already missing :)

2009-01-15T11:12:00.002-07:00

(from the previous post: the base of the staircase was by a door. A student walked in late, and I asked her to hand me my notebook. Fortunately, she cooperated.)

I just finished watching a movie about prostitution of 10-12 year old girls in Thailand. It's a movie for my international development class, and we had to write a paper about how it inspired us. I felt really cheesy writing it, but really what these people need is love! The people that were trying to keep their girls out of the prostitution industry kept saying, "We love our daughters! We would rather live in poverty than turn our children over to a business like that." And to underscore that point, there was a clip of a man holding his daughter's hand. Thai people don't believe in physical affection in public. They just don't do it. They don't tell you that in the video either. Rob taught me that when he commented how nice it was to see Chinese couples show even slight physical affection. This man was sitting with his daughter outside the school waiting for it to start. And he, ever so lightly, to still not offend his culture, held her hand. He loves her! I was so inspired to drop everything and move to one of these countries! Of course, the reality set in of needing to learn some languages and maybe have an idea of what I can do there, but still...
It's the thought that counts.

The LRC rooms are great places to watch movies. You can sob and nobody has to worry that you need to be comforted.

Intro to Public Health

2009-01-13T12:08:00.002-07:00

My second day of class. We sit in an auditorium with various levels and stair cases, and I was well aware it would be full. I didn't think I cared where I sat as long as I could see, so when I saw the empty row in the very back all the way up the stairs, I took the furthest seat in so other people could have seats too (I hate climbing over people, I can't imagine they like climbing over me, I can be considerate). I was practically up against the railing. Our professor begins to talk about the definitions of public health, talks about how we need to fill out notecards for attendance, and as I reach into my bag to grab a notecard, my notebook falls off my lap, over the railing, and down the flight of stairs. At this point, several people have filled the empty row, our professor has started lecturing, and I'm not really sure what to do. I would just slip through the railing and risk the injuries that could be caused by the jump, but I would cause too much of a racket moving stuff to do that, so I would have to go over the railing, making the jump even steeper. And I'm certain my professor would see me flinging myself over the railing and not let it go unnoticed.

So I'm stuck. I really need to take notes, but the disruption to get it that has even the remotest chance of being a big scene doesn't seem worth it. What do I do?

for later

2008-12-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

Onerepublic Come Home.feat.Sara Bareilles

thank you Nicole Mortensen!

2008-12-10T15:42:00.001-07:00

How to Talk To Girls

gender differences

2008-12-09T11:26:00.002-07:00

I'm writing a paper about the reasons for communication differences between genders. I need other people's ideas on why men and women have such problems trying to express their ideas.
What do you think? Please comment!

excerpts from Heather and Lyss

2008-12-02T23:02:00.003-07:00

Heather: AWKWARD?

Lyssa: yeah

nothing says "will you be our daughter in law?" like "hey, you two are getting married within six months! start planning now!"

Heather: haha

so... do you have colors picked out yet ?!

you cant hit me over the internet!!!!

Lyssa: I'm sending andy a packet of color swatches

Heather: HAHAHAHA

who are you?!

Lyssa: hahahaha do you think I'm serious?!

I should. just to stir things up. just not actually explain WHY I'm sending them

and I would totally hit you if you were here

Heather: yeah... him which ones he likes better...

Lyssa: hahahahahahahahahahaha

Heather: oh i know thats why im not

Lyssa: freak, I haven't seen his parents in how long?

Heather: and Lyss youre a loveable girl... it happens

Lyssa: hahahahahahahaha

jeez.

I'm going to flagstaff in January

Heather: oh?

to pick a place for the reception?

Lyssa: shut up.

this just in...

2008-12-01T12:21:00.003-07:00

Driving back from the airport this morning, the radio was on and we were listening to some guy ramble on and on about something. But he started talking about deploying troops within the country for "domestic security," making some interesting points about the parties involved, the blame game, Bush vs. Obama, etc.

Hmmm. Maybe we should be paying attention to things like this.

What do you think?

2008-11-24T15:50:00.002-07:00

"You don't want to spend your life chasing someone who doesn't like you as much as you like him."

-Mom

Accomplishments of the Week/Firsts

2008-11-17T07:18:00.003-07:00

-Burned my face using the barbeque. It fried all the hairs on the front of my head. Eyelashes and eyebrows included.
-Threw together aforementioned barbeque in less than 2 hours. With the help of Jace, Jada, Brid, Aria, and Kenyan.
Mostly Brid and Jace.
-Talked to Scott Christofferson and Mariana Estevez at the same time. Two worlds I didn't think would ever meet.
-Played the piano with Brid for the children's choir. Reminded again that I can't sight read for anything.
-Ran to Bridian's school to drop off her iPod. (Really?)
-Made hot chocolate from that recipe that's always on the box.
-Didn't know one of the kids at seminary (?!)
-Saw the same people at the airport that I saw in Atlanta a week ago. Doing the same thing. Making out. Awkward.
-Cut in front of Robert Hales and Weston Hawks. New drivers. Jeez...
-Ate gingerbread dough for breakfast.
-Made icing from an internet recipe that was actually worth eating.
-Missed 5 flights in a row.
-Made pandeyuca! (ok, so not the first time... but I didn't do as much work last time)
-Made cupcakes for Bridian's soccer team
-Talked to dad, on an instant messenger, in Spain. So I could google bookstores in Barcelona for he and mom.

It's been a great week :)

dancing grandmas? definitely home.

2008-11-08T21:17:00.001-07:00

I'm lying on my parents' bedroom floor on one of their pillows that probably isn't allowed on the floor sitting on my laptop, listening to Star Wars wreak havoc in the other room. And I told the kids they could eat the Halloween candy in the freezer.

Don't tell my parents.

I forgot how much I love home. I mean, not my family. Thankfully, I won't ever forget how much I love being around them. But Florida? I realized today how much I hate the heat. I've spent my whole life in it, so it's easy to forget about it when I live somewhere else. I got off the plane and was almost disgusted how I could chew on the air outside. So to merge the idea of something that has a lot of things I don't really love with a lot of things that I really love, and realize I could love a sand pit if I had ever called it home, or if I could count on my family being there every time, I would always go back to a rock, if that's where they lived.

So rock, sand, or humidity central, there's my family. I'm so grateful I can spend eternity with these crazies. I wonder if that's what my grandma ever thinks... that's part of the reason I'm home. My grandma lives with us because, well, she was kicked out the nursing home. Sad story for another day. She doesn't remember very much, about anything, and so she often just sits and watches us. I wonder if she ever thinks, "I can't wait to get out of here," or if it's more like, "Man, I miss these days." I feel like it would be the latter. When we got home from the airport, we had a dance party. Right then and there. And we went nuts. My grandma was sitting in the front room, we were in the family room at the back of the house, though she could see us and definitely hear us, even though her hearing aid batteries were dying. I worried about her hating the sound, but she very quickly dispelled my qualms on this one; she got up after a few minutes of our ridiculous dancing, danced in the living room, away from our direct line of vision (we were totally still watching), walked into the family room, and sat down on the couch as the audience to our display of... insanity. Really the result of not being around each other frequently enough, but those are pretty much the same thing. But she sat in until the music died down because we had collapsed/moved on to something else.

I think she likes us :)

So this didn't really come together as cohesively as I hoped all of my thoughts throughout the day would. That definitely means I'm home. Cohesive or not, it feels good. I'm down with that.

Tribute to Krista

2008-11-06T13:44:00.000-07:00

First, an explanation:
Krista's a phenomenal writer. She had this excerpt from a book she's working on, which she posted on her blog, that is below. You can see her explanation, and my original source, here.

The picture just seems to go with it so perfectly. One, because it conveys the idea of now knowing where to go. Really? How much clearer can it get? This picture also goes with it perfectly because it was a trip to Walmart. Krista, her jeep, a du-rag, yelling out the window pretending I was Amish/a Ku Klux Klan member... it just perfectly describes the relationship Krista and I have. The trip, not so much the picture, but the picture is from the trip. You know.

I really liked this piece of Krista's because I feel like it's my life right now. I haven't slept well in several days because my brain just doesn't stop. I don't even feel like I'm making huge decisions, but the little ones that will make the big ones... It's scaring me a little bit.

And Krista explains it so much better than I do.

From Krista:

I’m starting to become more than a little bit familiar with Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken.” I feel like I’m starring in it half the time. I’m constantly at a metaphorical fork in the road with no clue as to which road to take. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever have a moment of peace when I can just continue on the same road for a while, but it never seems to be the case. You’d think that I’d be going in circles by now considering the sheer number of times I change directions. Most of my life the choice has been strongly influenced by someone else, but gradually those influences have tapered off until I’ve been the only defining factor in my life. Sure the other people are still there, but I'm left to my own judgment.
Now I’m afraid to take that road less traveled, for fear Frost was right and it will make all the difference.

And I’ll be the only one responsible for it.

good morning :)

2008-11-05T14:11:00.000-07:00

"hey what's up in Utah?"
"New line. You've used that too many times this week."
"Fine. Yo girl what's going on down in that place your in?"

Gosh, I love my little brother.

"you having a good day?"

2008-10-30T15:16:00.000-06:00

I'm online at work all the time. Even if I'm not at my computer, I'm online. I sign in as soon as I get to work and only sign off if I'm trying focus, trying to get more accomplished, and am also choosing to be easily distracted.
Kennedy, my third-grade cousin, is always really excited to talk to me when she's online. Our conversations usually go something like this:

k: hi lyssa

k: :)

tomorrow is.........HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!

Lyssa: isn't that exciting?!

what are you going to be for halloween?

k: a devil

x-(

what are you going to be

Lyssa: haha that should be fun!

I'm going to a halloween party tonight

and I'm going to be a china doll

and then tomorrow night, for actual halloween, I'm going to be [something different]

k: WWWWWWOW

Lyssa: I'm pretty excited about it :)

k: ME TO

have you heard from jada yet

Lyssa: heard from Jada yet?

what do you mean?

k: like have she sended a email yet

to you

Lyssa: not today...

why?

did she email you?

or are you waiting for an email from her?

k: well no i just haven't heard from her

in a longgggg time

k: since school started

Lyssa: wow

that's a while

We talk about the nearest event, her school, her fam, which of my siblings have emailed her recently and what the emails have said and what I think of them. And then, at some point in the conversation, she always asks me if I'm having a good day. I love that question. She doesn't ask me how I'm doing. She gives me the chance to evaluate the day, and I answer her honestly. She's definitely caught me on days I haven't been thinking about how great they've been. She asked me one day that it seemed like everything had gone wrong, but she makes me think about it. She always gives me reasons to realize that I've had good things happen to me, even if I don't think the day is going so fantastically. It's really cool, and it makes me feel a lot better to know things just aren't that bad.

From the mouths of babes. Literally.

2008-10-29T21:14:00.000-06:00

Curtis sent me this. He said, "Give me a break!"

This is crazy. Oh the signs of the times.

Proposition 8

you'd think it were Monday...

2008-10-28T14:30:00.000-06:00

Man. I thought yesterday was actually pretty good for a Monday. FOR the love.

We were in the lab last night til 2:30. We had a huge project to get done (which we've been working on for the past week...), so we planned to meet at 7, thinking that we had the majority of it done, so we'd just be a couple of hours at most. A package of licorice, 8 phone calls, 3 hot pockets, 1 trip to the parking lot, and 7 1/2 hours later, we were done. And when I got home at 3, I was exhausted. I slept through my first class, raced to get to my second class, and ended up on the phone with my mom instead, bawling about how out of control my life feels. Sitting on the stairs in the Clyde, who should walk down but Bishop Beckstead, who starts to tell me how embarrassed he is that he hasn't emailed me back about a letter of recommendation. Mom heard him talking and said, "Call me later. Love you bye!" and I walked up to his office. I love chatting with Bishop. We talked about life, Guatemala, he and his wife, missions, all kinds of things in half an hour. Jose called, I called Joey to tell him I can't go salsa dancing, I ran into Asia, we got stuck in the elevator, we went to see A. Todd, he showed me his Ninja turtle costume, cookies and milk...

And work. Gosh, I can't wait to go home and sleep.

we think we're cool.

2008-10-20T16:24:00.000-06:00

Bridian and I "conversed" today. This is how it went. I think it started because I sent her a text with her initials if she married her crush.

BMOR:

AMOR:

BMOR:

AMOR:

BMOR:

AMOR:

The Poop Queen: Dang homz. You win.
[blood]: With which one?
The Poop Queen: The one with the computer and your hand. I coulda come up with a better one but I was pretty busy building a rocket.
[blood]: Wow. Rockets are cool. Thank you, thank you. But it was a good game. Let's play more often. Minus you actualz being mad at me.
The Poop Queen: Psh. I wouldn't exert so much effort if I were mad at you. Trust me.

2008-10-18T17:31:00.001-06:00

the part us being more excited about our new ward?

yeah. that was a lie.

[edit]

I didn't get to finish this post.

We have had a lot of fun with our new ward. We've also had a lot of awkward situations with the same people that we called fun.

"Where did you serve your mission?"
"I.. haven't done that yet."
"Oh. that's cool."
"No, it's not really."

"How serious is this boyfriend?"
"We're pretty sure they're going to get engaged next week."
"So she probably wouldn't want to go on a date tomorrow night then."
...no answer.

"Oh, by the way, I'm your home teacher... Do you want to go to Sundance with me tomorrow night?"

"You shouldn't have flirted with me if you had such a serious boyfriend."
"I didn't flirt with you."

fun? :)

the art of not looking busy

2008-10-17T13:12:00.000-06:00

Josiah and I go to lunch. Every week. Friday. Noon. Costco. We meet in front of the Wilk. No questions asked.

Well, except that Josiah always texts me "Costco? Same place?"
Just to make sure.

Today I almost didn't go. I've had six billion things to do all day everyday, and no matter what I accomplish, it seems the list never gets smaller! but I did go. I wanted the break. I realized I needed it.

Josiah brought up something he'd learned in a leadership meeting that his stake president called "the art of not looking busy," about how, as a stake president, the man is busy. He's always got a lot of places to be, a lot of things to be doing, etc., but how in between those meetings, he takes time to not look busy. He stands out in the foyer so that he appears approachable and church members can feel like they can actually talk to him. We talked about how we need to make time to talk to people. We've got busy lives, but people don't feel like we love them or care about them if we can never talk to them except while we're doing something else. I liked the opportunity to evaluate how I'm doing with that. I was pleasantly surprised to remember the day before, having an hour before we were headed to Salt Lake and walking over to talk to my neighbor, Kate. We talked about school. She's 3. I loved forgetting everything I was worrying about to listen to how much she loves joyschool. I was maybe there for 5-10 minutes, and then I headed back into the house to finish stuff before I took off. But I loved it! And realizing today that's what I needed yesterday, and I need to take that kind of time regularly.

And as for Salt Lake...

sigh...

2008-10-15T14:58:00.000-06:00

I think I should qualify this whole collection. I write as though no one else is reading.
Dangerous, I realize. But this is for me (and my mom, who calls about things later). And I don't write frequently anyway.
Amused readers... it's usually an accident. It's how my life goes, and I write it down. Period.

Laura and I have been going to our ward the past few weeks trying to be active and willing participants. Our Bishop has already labeled us the project of the ward and made home and visiting teaching assignments accordingly (Laura's companion is the Relief Society President, mine is her older sister, and the Elder's Quorum President is our home teacher). Somehow, we've already managed to meet the funnest people in the ward. Maybe they feel sorry for us, but they're a little too surprised by our reactions to things they say to not be genuinely interested in being our friends. The sad part is, we ususally meet them at the worst times possible. Usually during Sunday school.
This past Sunday, we went to "break the fast" and sat at a table by ourselves, eating the candy corn out of the center of the table. I don't know who's brilliant idea it was to make those center pieces and not expect them to be eaten, but several people weren't happy about it. (Not the fun people we've met, don't worry). We were soon joined by 4 or 5 other people who wanted to eat candy corn too. We started eating, we made lots of friends when we made a big deal about not letting anyone steal a piece of cake we were sharing that people proceeded to steal from us, and ended up leaving with plans to play scum... at a later date.
An hour or so later, the Elder's Quorum President and one of the kids we'd met with the candy corn showed up at our house, and Laura and I oh-so-cordially invited ourselves over to their apartment to play scum. Who knew scum could be a death match? Daniel and I watched Laura and other Daniel duke it out, not for who would be in the King's spot, but for who would be scum and vice scum.
The next night at FHE (both Daniels are in our FHE group) we carved pumpkins. Laura didn't come because she was at work, and I had to leave early to be back on campus. When I got home, my pumpkin was on the porch. Stabbed with a good 20 or 30 knives. "YOU SCUM" was written in large black letters on the side.

I think it was for Laura.

Needless to say, we're a little more enthusiastic about our ward. So far.

Idiosyncrasies. of an Idiot :)

2008-10-06T15:19:00.000-06:00

I'm going to a concert on Wednesday because, even though I only know a few of the songs by the headliner, I love what I've heard. I was talking to Jeremy about which songs/albums I should focus on, and since I have two days, I need to get to work. So I popped in my headphones when I got to my next class and opened my laptop. I turned the music up, and kind of a ways because the volume is always different on my comp for when I'm using headphones versus listening to music without them, just on the computer's speakers. I wanted the volume up a little bit anyway because I only had one ear in. So I could attempt to listen to the lecture :) I'm always amazed by the headphone phenomenon of feeling like everyone in the room should be able to hear it but they can't! And "Breathe," the song I was listening to, is such a good song.
And then I noticed the kid in the row in front of me start looking around, and then he stared at me with kind of a funny expression.

The phenomenon was that everyone in the room COULD hear the music.
My headphones were plugged into the microphone jack.

boys speak in rhythm and girls in code

2008-09-29T14:39:00.000-06:00

Last night was confusing, as was the night before, and I ruined this morning by not being ready for the day to start.

I have to start getting more sleep...

2008-09-16T13:37:00.000-06:00

oh my life is so random.

I met Marshall yesterday on the balcony of the JFSB (I don't think I'll ever study anywhere else!) and we talked about how his life is fairly consistent and unchanging and mine is totally unpredictable and psychotic. When I said, "Lucky," commenting on his lifestyle, he said, "I don't think that's lucky. I think yours is way more fun." I told him that sometimes it is, but it seems like life would be a whole lot less hectic if it were more like his.
But then, I wouldn't have nearly as much fun.

So. First I was asked out by a 40-plus something year old I met at the temple. Weird. The next day an old friend called to ask me on a blind date to ring weekend at Westpoint in New York. I didn't go with the 40 yr old, I did go to Wespoint, and as soon as I got home I learned that my car had been stolen. In between I went to the doctor and learned I need glasses, and I got to visit home before Ike hit South Florida.

:) It's only Tuesday. And I'm tired.

And I'm acting as if this blue sky's never gonna rain down on me...

2008-08-14T12:30:00.000-06:00

As If. Sara Evans. I'm in love with that song.

Home in Provo. Man, it feels good. It's crazy how amazing it felt walking on to campus yesterday. I'm hoping it's renewed motivation, starting out what could be a fantastic year, the fact that it's BYU... Whatever it is. I love it.

And life here has already started again. I thought it would be fairly quiet for a week or so while people are still getting back from their summers, especially since most apartments won't let their residents move in til the end of next week, but I've already had a surprisingly busy first few days. I've already been in and out of the office, biked around Provo, practiced my Spanish, reunioned with some China friends, seen a friend off on a mission, ripped my hand, torn it up at the tumbling gym (literally, my shorts ripped right down the back and are completely irreparable), stayed up way too late looking at pictures from China, and spent sleepless night wondering when my alarm would go off. :) Typical.

haha I love trying to sum up the events of my life with as little detail as possible. It makes my short term memory so much funnier than my life might actually be. Oh well.

Monday. Out the door at 5:30 to catch a 7AM flight, Salt Lake City by 10. Jami picked me up and we ran to a couple of Costcos to look at bargain shade shirts, got sick after eating the HUGE servings of ice cream Costco has, and went home to have a fashion show with the clothes from she and Joey. I love having to do almost zero shopping for an entirely new wardrobe. I drove to Provo after that, worked for a couple of hours, ran some errands, and went to meet Joyce and the house. I'm really, really excited about it. I'm also excited to a little redecorating, but that will come later :P Then I went to Robby's so we could ride bikes. We ate dinner, then went to some crazy store run by everyone but English-speaking Americans. It made it so much more fun. Robby was looking at the plain shirts and really wanted one, and then we found that we could add letters for 50 cents... I wanted one too. We got nicknames printed on our shirts from the names we were given by our language teacher in China. I texted Seth, and he wanted one too (without actually knowing what it was, we just asked him if he wanted an "amazing momento"). I ran to get Seth's made while Robby had them rung up, and the man that had been doing them had really been struggling with English. I went up to him and asked, "Puedo hacer uno más?" and then apologized for my terrible Spanish. He told me, no, it's good, you just need to practice! And we proceeded in Spanish from that point on. ! I love that feeling! I'm getting somewhere with it! Just... slowly.
Then we continued on our bike ride around Provo. We went to places I had never heard of, didn't know existed, and was so thrilled about exploring. We went in these crazy tunnels and Robby made up different stories for how we had to be careful going through them. Really, I just had to watch for walls that randomly popped up. I never did smash into one, but I fully expected to! We went to a skate park, which was really fun with our 1950-style bikes. I'm pretty sure they aren't made for skate parks. We talked to some people at a trailer park pool, that was interesting. Robby just decided, "hey, let's go talk to those people!" so we did. Then we headed home. I got to Joyce's and talked to Jurphy about potential plans for the next day, the last day before he went to the MTC. I was asleep just after 11. That also felt REALLY good.
So work early the next morning, an hour or so of remembering where things were, and then an office meeting. eye roll. about how the office is changing and what we need to do and how we aren't allowed to wear sandals.
(I'm wearing sandals right now. Sitting at the front desk. In the office. Joyce told me they couldn't override BYU standards and make them higher. If they wants no shorts and sandals, they can move to BYU-I).
I left at 2:30 after learning to fingerprint. I ran to Smiths because I don't have a razor, a brush, or shaving cream. Stop at home, then I called Jurphy. He was with Russell and looking for Taylor. I didn't want to park, so I called them and decided I was driving. I was so much more excited to see them than I thought I would be. And I was already really excited about seeing them. They're so much fun! So we drove around, took Russell to get frisbees, parked quasi-legally, bought snow cones, went to the park, had a variation of Calvinball while we tried to get ahold of Robby and Seth and decide what we wanted to do. We wanted to go to the tumbling gym, but we had to make the reservation online. We all had a hard time remember that Jurphy had already been set apart. He and I were just going to run to make the reservation while Taylor and Russell continued playing at the park. And then it occurred to me. "Jurphy! You need a companion!" We all went. We called Seth when we found out the reservation at 6 was gone and we could go at 9. Then we went to the playground and had to try out everything that was built there. The spinning things (you hang and spin in a cirlcle. Who's idea was that?), the slides, the monkey bars where I developed and popped a blister, the balance beams, the rock wall, etc. We sat down in the shade and started talking, about China, about anything related to China, dating, cars, things getting stolen in Provo... at 7 or so Taylor said he needed to get going. So we got in the car and went to Little Cesar's to get pizza and went to Russell's to eat. Taylor stayed, dinner was fun (we watched the Olympics. So much more fun watching with a group of people that have also been to that nation). Then I took Taylor home because I wanted to change my clothes before the tumbling gym, and I really, really wanted to shave. I realized how gross my legs were at the park and ran home to do that. Accomplished, no blood! Well, a little bit. But that's even when I'm not in a hurry.

I should not be writing this in a public place. Ah, whatever.

I realized I didn't have anymore shorts to wear. Some board shorts, but nothing to go with them, so I just left the shorts I had on. Bad, bad, bad idea. Anyway, I went back to Russell's, Robby showed up, we were getting ready to go, so when we got in the car, I called Seth, who was either going to meet us there or come to Russell's and go with us, depending on how long it took him to get down to Provo. He was confused, he thought we were going to Jump On It in American Fork, not the tumbling gym in southern Provo. We got out of the car and went back in so Robby could eat dinner and Jurphy could run to the store. (Russell went with him, don't worry.) Seth showed up, we headed to the tumbling gym. The tumbling gym is always a blast, and even more so because Robby and I were the only ones that had been there. Russell, Seth, and Jurphy went for their first time, and in the open gym, there were lots of fun people to play with. No injuries were sustained (gratefully). Well, except Robby. The most experienced, he slipped in between two mats and hit the railing. We're pretty sure he's ok though.
So at the very end of the night, I jumped into the styrofoam pit and Robby started burying me. Soon joined in by Russell and Jurphy. Then Robby instructed me to tunnel my way to him, so I did. It was a lot of strain, and that must've been when it happened. I pulled myself out of the pit and sat down for a few minutes, then we got up to leave and Robbie said, "Uh, Lys, I can see your underwear. " I adjusted my shorts, thinking they'd slid down when I climbed out, pulled my shirt down, and said thanks. Robby said, "Um. No. Feel the seat of your pants." Oh man. They were ripped all the way down the backside. I sat down as fast as I could. Shoot, of all things that could've happened that night... and I was supposed to drive everyone home. I had to at least get out to my car, I didn't have to get out after that...
Fortunately, Seth had changed when we got there. So he put his jeans back on and let me borrow his shorts. Still fairly mortifying, but I was alright. What could I do?
The pants were beyond repair. Sad, because I loved those and had to trade my life for them pretty much (so Bridian would give them to me).
And now they're gone. In the trash at Joyce's house.
Sigh...

We said our goodbyes at Russell's house. Seth told me he had pictures for me and chopsticks, so he dropped Jurphy off while I headed home. Then Seth came over and we sat in the kitchen looking at pictures til midnight, when we went outside. There was an outlet on the side of Joyce's house to plug his computer into, so we sat on the step outside that door. Cement gets really uncomfortable after a while... we kept trading off who was holding the computer so the other person could regain feeling in their legs. We looked at pictures til 2 or so, copied some more, decided we probably should go to bed, and stood talking just off the porch for a while after that. The newspaper guy came to deliver the paper and I freaked Seth out... Seth's standing there talking to me and I'm just barely looking past him bug-eyed because I can't figure out what this man walking towards us wants to do.
I don't remember what time Seth left. 2:30 I think, and I went in and went to bed pretty quickly. But I could not sleep. Could not could not could not. It had been too fun a day!

And now it's Wednesday. I was at work at 8, went to lunch with Grandma at 11:45 or so, and now I'm at work til 5. Heather and I are going to reorganize my room. It should be fun :)

Life just feels so good right now. So I'm trying to hang on to it. Grandma and I were talking about how we wished we could put the feeling of the big sunshine in a jar. I don't know how to do it, but I wish I could! So the days that the blue sky does rain down on me, I can still act as if it's not.

As if.... ha.

summer in Florida

2008-07-22T08:42:00.000-06:00

The Warning of the Last Days
14 Behold, I, the Lord, in the beginning blessed the waters; but in the last days, by the mouth of my servant John, I cursed the waters.

15 Wherefore, the days will come that no flesh shall be safe upon the waters.

16 And it shall be said in days to come that none is able to go up to the land of Zion upon the waters, but he that is upright in heart.

17 And, as I, the Lord, in the beginning cursed the land, even so in the last days have I blessed it, in its time, for the use of my saints, that they may partake the fatness thereof.

18 And now I give unto you a commandment that what I say unto one I say unto all, that you shall forewarn your brethren concerning these waters, that they come not in journeying upon them, lest their faith fail and they are caught in snares;

19 I, the Lord, have decreed, and the destroyer rideth upon the face thereof, and I revoke not the decree.

The Last Days

another Heather tale that I don't want to forget

2008-07-15T09:04:00.000-06:00

my explanation for Kansas boys and how they become women... pt 1

In the beginning Kansas was a thriving state with railroads and cattle. Many people would vie after the land and resources there many times causing arguments that escalated into fist fights and show downs. One man was killed in this action and his wife (Umtha) was heart broken. She vowed that she would not rest until the testosterone levels were lower and men would act like civilized human beings. So Umtha, knowing politics are vastly overrated, decided to pursue witchcraft in an attempt to cast a testosterone level lowering spell. Umtha was not the most patient person and although she did learn witchcraft it was somewhat unpracticed and definitely not perfected. Umtha cast a spell on Kansas with a two fold purpose. The first purpose being to rid Kansas of the rivalry by making it one of the most boring states in the union (mission accomplished we know) and the second purpose was to lower the testosterone levels, this part of the spell she thought did not work at all however, she unknowingly simply put a few constraints on the spell. So, now when a boy reaches the age of almost manhood (much like puberty this time differs for each male) he suddenly loses a vast amount of his testosterone making him more of a woman than some females (example: my gym class teacher from high school). This extraordinarily annoying occurrence only happens to males from Kansas. Sadly, some of them never grow out of it, others however recover and carry on with normal lives to the best of there abilities.

(This was after the two of us dated a couple of guys, independent of each other, from Kansas, and they acted like women. We mean no injury to any other Kansas residents, unless, of course, you are males who act like women. And then... check your family history. I'm sure this story is part of your not too distant past.)

new york, haitians, and egyptians

2008-07-14T14:47:00.000-06:00

So my fam and I just got back from New York. What fantastic trip! Haha mostly because we have fantastically ridiculous things happen in our family.

I also just got off the bus, which I've learned to absolutely love, after talking to two of my favorite regulars and a new guy. One is American, one is Haitian, and one is Egyptian.
Oh the things you learn...

sundays and testimonies.

2008-07-06T21:03:00.000-06:00

Today I learned that at least 4 women in our ward have a hard time getting pregnant.

There are some things I don't miss out on by being in a single's ward.

summer time

2008-07-03T11:47:00.000-06:00

Most of my posts have been recaps. I guess there's nothing wrong with writing my life in review, but I know that brief summaries aren't really a very good history of whatever actually happened. Everything's in the details!

The devil, too, I've heard. Maybe this recapping business is a good thing.

(The China trip will come slowly. I'm not going to even try to start it today, but in organizing pictures, I'll be able to manage it in short sections. That, and I'm not at my laptop with all my pictures. I'm pretty sure my mom did a good job with my highlights anyway on Kiss My Bliss, which, complete with the family's commentary, will probably be more entertaining anyway.)

I'm trying to keep up with my current life, the Florida one. It won't last very long, and if I wait til the end of the summer to try and write it all down, it just won't happen. The summers are always worth remembering. I'm also hoping that, if I keep some sort of record of this summer, I won't have to start over when I get home next summer. I feel like that happens whether I want it to or not, but I can never remember what grade the kids are in, what they just finished, what programs they're in, what sports they play, etc. I have asked Jada at least 4 times what grade she's going into, and I think my brain won't let her move past 4th. She's told me all 4 times how excited she is to be starting middle school, which means 6th grade. I probably shouldn't ask her again.

So the summer! Probably the best place to start would be getting home...
always the best adventure to write about :)

The first day is kind of a blur. I didn't sleep the night before, and trying to sleep on the plane didn't work out very well, but I managed to stay awake for the whole flight home. There are always interesting people to meet on the plane, and the two old women I'd sat with on both flights were more interested in me, too, when I was awake! Imagine that!
My dad came and picked me up, and we had our usual airport conversation. I just realized it was typical for us to have this conversation before I actually got to see him. Silly things, luggage, the flight, my ridiculous ideas (because I usually have just woken up about the time I get off the plane). One line from the conversation was something like, "We're only allowed to have one bag, so of course, I have three!" followed by my dad laughing. It was such a great feeling seeing my dad. I realized it's been 6 months. That's such a long time! We met my mom and the kids at a shopping center (Dad had to go back to work), and we went home and opened gifts! Then during dinner, Diana came over. I'm such a dork, I was kind of out of it and was excited to see her but acting really sleepy, and I said hello and gave her a huge hug, and then mom says, "Well, she has permission to kidnap you, so... go!" Steak n Shake (yum! I missed that place a lot!), the park, some random kid's house in Weston who I still don't know, the usual kidnapping routine. Man, I love our stake.

I started work the next morning, bright and early. It's been good to help put me back on normal sleeping hours, but it still is hard to be ready to function at 7AM. Brid got me a job working with an autistic boy that lives close to us, and we do therapy sessions with him. We do different drills, working on motor, literacy, speech, and social skills, for two hours at a time. It's really, really cool. I've learned so much from trying to teach the same things but never knowing quite what to expect from Jacob, the boy that we are working with. His moods are very transient, he's strong, he gets a lot of stimulation from touching things, and he loves to be held. His family (mom, dad, and older brother) loves him so much, and they also happen to think he's the funniest person in the world. It's cute to watch, but some of the deeper things I've noticed from their family have impressed me so much. They aren't members of the church, I don't know what kind of religious beliefs they may or may not have about family, but it's so important to them! That's so cool!

I also work with my mom in the afternoons in an office where my mom's boss gives me any project he hasn't been able to do in the past year or so. I've enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. The projects range from running around the warehouse doing inventory to reconciling commissions (which actually isn't that fun, but when it's interrupted with a set of the boss' car keys and instructions to run this place and this place and this place... that's not bad.)

The first weekend home, my parents decided they wanted to go to Grand Cayman. So I was home with the kids. Probably the best way to get back into the swing of things- do it all by yourself for three days straight :) We had a blast.

We went to see WallE on Saturday night, Sunday we went to church (oh what a good time... I had started to forget what it's like to be in a family ward. And with my siblings? Haha. I also taught my mom's primary class, yet another adventure.) and I didn't put the roast in before church like Mom had suggested, so we had waffles for lunch. Only we added peanut butter and chocolate chips, served with strawberries and, well, the idea of whipped cream. We ran out... somehow. Can't imagine how that happened...

We started taking pictures at some of the random things we did (mattresses in the family room, dancing, trying to see how many of us would fit on the front room chairs, the usual), mostly letting Jada be the photographer. These were just a couple of the cute shots we got.

Mom and Dad didn't get back til Monday afternoon, in the which time we managed to get the house put back together and have a session of summer school, which consisted of teaching the kids the English version of Chinese sounds to teach them Mandarin. All in all, a good weekend!

I still kind of wonder why my parents still let me stay home with them. But I guess I have since the house is still standing, they've attended Church, and it's mostly clean when they get home...
their losses are minimal :P

And since then... I've learned to ride the bus (not having a car or being on my parents' insurance gets a little tricky, especially working in Dania Beach (all of 20 miles from my house), but I've really enjoyed getting to know public transportation. I say learning because, as simple as the system is, I have found a way to mess it up. There's a difference between the northbound and southbound buses... evidently the "S" doesn't actually stand for south), experienced Florida nature that I forgot we had, remembered how much I love the rain, and loved, loved, loved growing with my family. I really missed them. 6 months is such a long time! For as many things as I may not have been up to date with or forgotten about day to day life at home, I'm grateful that I haven't forgotten how to progress with them :)

I'm sure we've had lots of adventures that I haven't remembered to write down. Living them is better than trying to make sure their written down, if I can't do the ideal and stay on top of both! And I think I'm doing pretty well at living. I'll stick to that.

Trying to make my day a little different- maybe not such a great idea...

2008-06-26T08:57:00.000-06:00

I tried to make a sandwich a little more creatively than I usually do. I tried to combine some of the ideas that Seth told me about when his friend made him a sandwich with some ideas I had from a sandwich I'd eaten at a café somewhere, so I was thinking cream cheese, turkey, lettuce, apple slices, some strange but really good sort of bun my mom buys … I had this great plan, but rather than making sure I had everything I needed first, I just started toasting the bread, cutting the apples, ready to put it all together, and I realize I can't find any meat. The only meat in the entire house is frozen cooking meat, not sandwich meat. That was fairly frustrating, somehow I thought that was a staple in our house, and I didn't really know what to do with the sandwich at that point.

So I left out the lettuce. No meat. Just toast, apples and cream cheese. My brother already thought I was weird. I just keep convincing him.

!

2008-05-01T11:58:00.000-06:00

My friends' wedding was postponed, and I'm relieved! At least, I thought I would be. I am, but my head is still heavy. My mom says it's all the other stresses I have that are adding to it, and until I get into China (or maybe even until I get home) I'm going to be stressed.

Story of my life.

I talked to Scott last night, and it was such a good conversation, even though it started out with him just asking about Nat and the story there. But the ideas and principles that we went into from there were so good! I just love conversations when I have realizations about myself and other people and my perception of them... you know, just life in general.
Scott said, "I really don't want you to go to China." I'd already had second thoughts. That didn't help.
I'm not really sure where the second thoughts came from. It just kind of keeps popping into my head. Talking to Scott, I'm sure Jeremy has a lot to do with it. I'm just not sure he was the initial thought process. But that's just silly. I mean, really? It's a six-week trip. And we aren't anything but clearly interested friends.
Then I was talking to my mom, and after that conversation, I was hit with this sense of how I run from problems. This overwhelming sense of how I run from problems. I'm not sure it's healthy. There are things I'm leaving behind, but I feel like because I know I'm going to China, I'm leaving them here on purpose. Not the other way around. I didn't plan China to run from things. I know things are put in my way for a reason. Like BYU. All of that fell into place because I needed to be out of the house. And it ended up being one of the best decisions. I don't feel like I put the same thought into China. I know I didn't. I applied because the application deadline was coming up, and it sounded like fun. Then I got in, everything just started going through...
I haven't paid for anything yet. I will have to work like a maniac as soon as I get home. And that will be about all I do. I don't know, I don't know.

Mom still thinks I should go to the doctor.

Life as it comes

2008-04-16T01:39:00.000-06:00

Ok, so lots of stories. I was just browsing through the pictures on my cell phone and decided my stories would be more interesting with a visual anyway. This is not in any sort of order, just as I find them. I'll try to bridge time in between, but... I make no promises :)

Kite flying! A couple of weeks ago (actually, this was an hour or two before the picture from the last post- Hare Kishna, the Festival of Colors at the Indian Temple in Spanish Fork. They light something symbolic on fire and then we all throw colored flour/chalk, we're still not entirely sure what it is) my roommate and I were enjoying the beautiful weather! We went to the park, and then we decided we really wanted to get some kites. We went to Walmart, Spider Man and Mickey and Minnie are up there in the sky. It was so much fun, and we started a trend of people out flying kites. It was so much fun!

My mom sent me these sunglasses for Easter.
Yes, I did send her this picture.

The above was at the basketball game (or the start of) that I took the kids to when Jason and Joey were out of town. They got bored really fast because they forfeited (sad!)! And the kids were so excited about the game!

Kikki and I jumping on the trampoline. The same aforementioned weekend.

Oh, what a great picture. Well, I learned how to longboard a couple of nights ago. I did a great job, as I was told, for my first time longboarding. This is the only time I fell off, actually, and it was within the first ten minutes. I got going really, really fast. My friend that was teaching me saw how fast I was going and said, "Wow. You are going freak fast." ... I don't even know what that phrase means, except that I had too much speed. But I knew that without him telling me. I decided I needed to stop. So I jumped off.
In case the picture doesn't make that perfectly clear, you should not try that at home. Or really, ever.

This probably isn't novel to anyone but me that didn't grow up in Utah. But this was at the Provo Tabernacle. My roommate (Asia) was singing there for a concert. (I probably shouldn't get started, but what a weird building! I mean, it's cool, but it really should be organized better. We walked in the first door we could see that was unlocked, and the choir had already started singing. So we just sneaked quietly up the stairs, those which I found out all too quickly were the stairs to the benches the choir was singing on. The very top of the tabernacle. I'm a genius...) Long story short, I couldn't resist catching this on my camera!

... The sad remains of DT. And to be honest, there's not even that much left anymore.

Alright, I didn't go into very much detail, and this really is just a random, random update with photos. Does is still count as an actual post?

Upcoming events: We started reading days today! We are in the process of making our second music video (if you haven't seen our rendition of It's All Coming Back To Me by Celine Dion, please let me know! We're working on putting it on youtube!)

Feeble attempt to catch up...

2008-04-09T16:39:00.000-06:00

So... I haven't posted in a month. What can I say? Nothing incredibly interesting happens to me!
(ok, so that's an absolute lie. I just... don't remember that anyone wants to hear about it!)

And I totally missed out on Friday FFA. I really do plan on being part of that group. Last week just got a little crazier than I was planning on. Even though I was sitting at a computer...

A recent episode in my life:

My jeans are still pink.

The office where I work

2008-03-21T14:13:00.000-06:00

This chicken dances around to "Pomp and Circumstance," well, more waddles in a circle, and then it stops and it makes an odd clucking noise. And then "the chicken dance" starts. And it progressively gets faster and faster until it stops.

So one of the advisers and I decided to send it down the main hall. Just to see how far it would get.

Now we're looking for a remote control truck. Does anyone have one?

2008-03-11T16:16:00.001-06:00

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
- Robert X. Cringely

The Crazy Dinner!

2008-03-08T01:48:00.000-07:00

Well, as promised, the crazy dinner details :)

Heather, oh Heather my hero, told me she'd serve for me, and was also our chauffeur. That was hysterical. We pulled up to the overhang on the east side of the Wilk and Heather hops out of the car to let Nat in. Nat laughed pretty hard and said when we got to my apartment, "I have no idea what crazy thing you must have planned."
Good adjective.
Nat didn't appreciate the creativity that went into the menu, but he'd had a long day. And I guess part of the bet was that he didn't have to do any work...
But he definitely did a great job choosing courses. He decided to pick the numbers at random. We ended up with some random courses. Sweetened condensed milk in a muffin, a wine glass full of toothpicks, bowls with butter, whipped cream, and blueberry syrup, and orange juice in a salt shaker.
Conner stopped by while I was setting up, so we roped him in to help cook (in exchange for letting him eat some of it). All in all, it was a hilarious success. Probably the most fun I've ever had losing a bet!

The clues- with no answers :D

1. Protein balls

2. Go right or left

3. Glass clap

4. Eating utensils for Chinese babies

5. Double D

6. Sleeping Cousin

7. Activity for couples

8. Ski Utah!

9. Cholestrips

10. Cleveland dope (hardens arteries)

11. 2% of a very pleasant Reader’s Digest

12. Fall, park, logged

13. Wallop the elite

14. Hay Western Dew

15. Frog sticker

16. Patterned iron

17. Skier’s Delight

18. Pseudo Smear

19. Snow flavoring

20. Acidic ale

21. Beneficially bovine

clarification! / note to the aunts

2008-03-03T14:31:00.001-07:00

Concerning boys, I wasn't entirely honest about the details the aunts get versus what I tell my mom. The aunts do get the real story. They get the details after I've digested them and talked through them with the roommates and we've decided what different things mean, and then it's still up for debate with the aunts who know lots more about boys than I do. My mom... doesn't get a written out description of things that happen in my life.

I pretty much call her as they happen.

Even if I do risk my parents planning my wedding within the hour :)

what happens when I try to plan my day- the story of my weekend

2008-02-25T14:13:00.000-07:00

For Jami.
I do need to write more often. I enjoy writing, and it always makes me laugh to go back and read over the goofy things I've done or written about. So here's to more consistent writing!
Or... constant. Though I do seem to have a running theme.

Friday. I have four classes every Friday, Bio at 8, computer science at 11, psychology at noon, and world music cultures at 1. Psych was canceled, so that makes three classes. I made two.

Early morning bio is always a challenge. Always. And 8AM isn't that early, but I don't think Heather and I have been on time yet this year. Though we did get to class within the first five minutes of it starting. Quiz, homework, out the door and on the way to the 5th floor bathroom where Heather wanted to straighten her hair. The bathrooms have a big lobby, they are pretty roomy, so I planned to prepare for my 11 o'clock class on her laptop til she had class at 10. Heath asked me to run a paper to the JFSB, so I thought I would call mom to see how the concert went, talk to her about China, apartment contracts, the open house the next night, you know, the usual. I got back to the library and continued to talk to mom til Heath had to go to class and
I was supposed to meet Marshall to study bio. Not being ready for my class, I skipped it. I studied with Marshall until I had class at 1 (which I will over-analyze forever, I'm sure... post for another day) then ran to the library to drop stuff off with Laura. I was supposed to take a bio test after work, so I just took my book to work and left everything else so I could study during work and not drag all my stuff to the testing center. After work, I knew I'd be racing because Nat was picking me up at 6:30 for a date to the ballet. I didn't think I was going to have time to run home between the test and the date, and where the date was on campus, I thought I would be fine. But while Marshall and I were in the Wilk, Nat walked by in a suit. He'd already explained how packed his day was, so I assumed his suit was for our date that night. Shoot. Even with a really fantastic top my jeans weren't going to be appropriate. I texted Nat to check on the apparel. "You aren't staying in your suit, are you? I didn't think I was appropriately dressed for a ballet but if you're in a suit..." He texted me back laughing. He had a meeting that morning, he hadn't even thought about his wardrobe for later that night. "But if you have a fancy dress, we can sneak into the dance afterwards." He didn't realize immediately that I wasn't kidding. "I've got one. What color is your tie?" Ah, we had a blast. I wore heels that I hadn't worn in months, had completely forgotten how to walk in them, and one of the heels was twisted (hence the not being worn in months-why didn't I just get rid of them?). We got free ice cream from an art gala going on in the HFAC, and we were doubling with Josh and Allie (which I had no idea was going on, but it made it more fun, especially with Josh's stick-post-it-notes-on-people's-backs-and-don't-get-caught game. 5 points if you get both people in a couple, double if it was on the forearm. We all had different color post-it notes, but you could only see Josh's in a crowd. We stopped trying after Josh proved to be the master.) Then we did successfully sneak into the dance, complete with free photography and everything.
We learned to salsa (mostly from Camilla and Scott) and we tore up the slow songs with our interpretive dancing. We enjoyed the food, got yelled at for taking off our shoes, and practiced our swing.

And we sneaked out just like we came in.

Saturday morning. I think Grandpa woke me up when he called me to give me details on the UVSC game. I really wanted to get up early and do laundry, or run, or something! but none of those happened. I got out of bed and cleaned up the kitchen before heading out with Asia to an audition for an alleged musical. That started the running around in circles on Saturday. When I get too much stuff going on in my head at one point, my organization, little that may have been actually planned out, goes out the window. I run from one place to the next like a chicken with its head cut off. The sad thing is, I probably retain as much useful information as that same chicken missing its head.
Asia told me about the audition, I wanted to do it, but I didn't have a song. I really had no idea what to sing, and Asia kept telling me it wouldn't really matter, just pick something! So I called Josh to ask him for his big book of rock, he didn't answer, ran over to their apartment, where I'm certain I scared the crap out of John Crespo, standing at the door in a bathrobe wondering what I could possibly be doing at their apartment. I ran home with the book, to find there was nothing in it I felt good about singing for an audition, but Asia was ready to leave, so I grabbed my Spanish primary book (excellent choice. What was I thinking?) and we left, but Asia only had time to show me the room before I had to run to the Wilk to meet Erin, the landlord of the apartment Laura and I want to live in next year, to sign contracts. I had called Laura to remind her of the meeting 10 minutes before. "Oh crap. I just got out of the shower. Stall for me?" So I had one of those conversations with Erin that should've ended before it began. It was just chatter. Like, really. I was making up topics as I went, it was awful! Like a blind date with someone you know immediately nothing's going to happen. Finally she said, "while we're waiting for Laura, do you want to look through the contract?" So we sat down, Laura came, we signed, done deal, off to the audition with Asia. Still no idea what I'm going to sing, and Laura doesn't have any clue either (Asia just told her she should try out too because she could pass for a 15 year old :P Laura wasn't happy about having all of her 5 feet made fun of.) We get to the room and learn we aren't singing, we aren't trying out for the musical part, we're just trying out for one part. It was so much funnier that way. And we were very creative with our forms too. Under "special talents," I wrote, in all caps, "I CAN OVEREXTEND MY ELBOWS." It was hilarious. We still haven't heard back from them. Surprised?
Then we ran back to the Wilk for an enrichment activity. Tying blankets for children in Honduras. They didn't actually start that part until after 1 (activity started at noon?), and I had to leave by 1:30. Ah, go figure. We ate, we made creative name tags, we listened to speakers, great musical number by one of our favorite neighbors, and then bolted. After starting a quilt. I had to be in Spanish Fork enough before 2 that I could start laundry at Grandma and Grandpa's and go with them to the game, with enough time to get back afterwards to be on time for a date at 5:45. Fat chance.
The game was great! We had so much fun! Ridge and Kiki and Pippy and I played basketball in the court behind the main arena for most of the game. Then we played with Grandpa after the game. Ridge caught a shirt, the wolverine sprayed us all with silly string, and UVSC won by more than 20 points. We got back home about 5:30. I called Josh (my date that night) and he said he was on his way back from the distribution center, so it should be fine to leave a little after six. We were heading to the philharmonic, which started at 7:30, but we wanted to eat first. I finally got home, in and out of the shower in less than 10 minutes, into a formal dress, hurrying as fast as I could. Then Josh called. We weren't dressing up. Freak. All of my other clothes were still at the Bliss home. After some generous contributions from my roommates, I was finally ready to go. Sort of. My head was still soaking wet, but curling, so... Oy. We went to the Sensual Sandwich. Man, they are so good. On the way, our Bishop called me. Hahahahahaha. It was so much better that everyone in the car was in my ward. Camilla and Jeremy got quiet, but Josh, of course, was loud and obnoxious. I talk with my hands, so my one hand was moving around to talk with me on the phone. Jeremy whispered, "Josh, she's holding out her hand so you can hold it!" I heard this, so I moved my hand, and then thought better of it when Josh put his hand out. I grabbed his hand and poor Josh freaked out. I was trying so hard not to laugh while Bishop was talking to me. I still did. I explained the next day in sacrament meeting.
Josh and I played the dot game during the philharmonic. I kicked his butt. He wanted to win at something, so when he sat up perfectly straight, and I asked him if he was going to sit like that for the duration of the concert, he said, "I bet I can sit like this longer than you can." I whooped him then too. After the concert, we went back to his apartment to play Settlers of Catan. I'd never played before, so when I didn't come in last after a two-hour game, I didn't feel too bad. It was midnight when Josh walked me home, and I realized I had to go get my laundry. We had a work inventory in the morning, and my uniform was on top of Grandma and Grandpa's washer and dryer. Ah, not a big deal, I thought, I can just sneak in the garage and get my laundry and not wake anyone up. So I drove to Spanish Fork, opened the garage, and the door to the house was locked. I don't think it ever has been locked. It was almost 1, I didn't want to wake anybody up, and it gave a great reason not to do the inventory. So I went home. I emailed my supervisor, watched the end of a movie with my roommate, and crashed. I woke up at 5:30 to call my other supervisor, safely got out of work, and went back to sleep. And was still on time for church :)

I really wouldn't have these problems if I planned better. But, as I said to Asia, "Anytime I try to plan my day, it ends up going an entirely different way. Should I just stop planning?"
Asia just laughed.

the tale of the jacket

2008-02-13T15:10:00.000-07:00

as told to me by Heather Nicole Koval. Her response when I asked what happened, my question being a reply to her text, "My burrito really likes your jacket."

"I was walking along and my burrito jumped out of my hand and started beating me and my bag saying, 'the jacket's mine!'... then they skipped off, sleeve in sauce. And I had to chase it down and squish the burrito beans out and wrestle the jacket to the ground and slap it around a bit."

I kind of wonder what they put in that burrito...

chicken soup for the heart?

2008-02-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

I woke up after a couple hours of restless sleep to a missed call and three cans of chicken soup. Really, this was the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

"Dearest Alyssa,
If you woke up this morning as sick as I did, you will be wanting these. As much fun as last night was however, I'm afraid we'll never have a second date... unless you eat all this soup and feel better. :) Good luck tonight.

-Andy
P.S. Way to get me sick on our first date."

Kyle

2008-02-06T11:19:00.000-07:00

Lys- Girls are so stupid.
Kyle- I like girls!
Lys- Don't. They're stupid. I think it's the only thing I'm actually enraged by.
Kyle- What'd you mess up this time, doll-face?
Lys- Why on earth do you assume it was me? :P
Kyle-You usually mess things up... ;)
Lys- Usually being the operative word. Give me some credit!
Kyle- Okay, was it actually a different girl who messed up?
Lys- I wish you wouldn't act so surprised...

Wednesdays.

2008-01-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

I hate the mornings you wake up and think you're going to have a great, productive day, that everything is going to go your way, you're going to be amazingly efficient, your mood is invincible, everything is sunshine and rainbows (even though it's really a blizzard outside) and then SMACK you wreck and your hopes of a fantastic day is as mangled as the front end of your car is.

Ok, that doesn't really happen to most people. But really, what happens in my life that usually happens in other people's lives?

And then my mom texted me about my sister at the doctor's, where x-rays confirmed a sprained ankle and other tests confirmed the other foot is infected from when the glass fell off the wall and into her foot, and being the family that we are, we made our own butterfly bandage instead of bringing her to the ER. Hey, it worked for my brother's head! (I'm sure we'll be hearing about that one later...)

My reply to my mom said something to the effect of "All this is teaching me is this insane, almost sick sense of calm. " To which she said, "That's about the sum total of my life."

Sigh...

For personal use. Read at your leisure/own risk

2007-12-28T07:07:00.001-07:00

We've been taught that we need to record things.
“Every person should keep a journal and every person can keep a journal. It should be an enlightening one and should bring great blessings and happiness to the families. If there is anyone here who isn’t doing so, will you repent today and change—change your life?”

I don't feel so dorky that way :)

I got home on Thursday morning. I got into the airport and called Dad- goofiest conversation I've had with him in a long time. I was mostly delirious, as it was 5:30AM and I'd been unable to sleep the majority of the night, and everybody around me was looking at me funny. I guess my conversation was more interesting than waiting for the luggage belt to start moving! I went home and hoped to sleep, but by the time I got home my siblings were getting up for school, and knowing full well that Aria had been counting down the days til I got home... I should've known better than to hope for sleep.
So we got the kids off to school, then I started to go shopping with mom but the doctor's office called and said they could fit me in if I came right then. So we went to see Maria Claudia, one of my mom's good friends, who wanted to know how everything was going and how life was and how I liked college and what I was doing home and I could call her from China and get a prescription for birth control.
My mom has weird friends.
Mom and I continued on to go shopping for matching Christmas dresses (I don't remember the last time we all matched- someone's wedding, maybe?), we found some cute ones, and then our stomachs indicated the time. We went to Pollo Tropical. Man, I forgot how great that place is. Mom thinks we should open a franchise in Provo. We really would make millions... We'll work on that.
We came home and Mom and I talked for a while. I had intended to get a nap in somewhere, but it was a good conversation. It ended only because Cathy called my mom about picking kids up from chess club, and then Mom remembered Jada's parent-teacher conference we were going to be late for. "We, Mom? I'm neither a parent nor a teacher." "Oh come on. It's your fifth grade teacher, she'd LOVE to see you!" Sigh...
It was really fun, actually. I do love this teacher, and with my siblings still at my elementary school, it's fun to have an easy excuse to go see her. She was so cute. She, too, wanted to know how school was going, how I spent my time, what I was interested in, etc. When I told her I spent all my time playing, she said, "Oh, so playing- you party?" I laughed. Me? Party? I guess most kids do grow up, go to college, and get drunk. I explained. I described the art gala and the random way that came about, sledding on cookie tins, body painting, snowball fights in August... "No," I told her, "when I say play, I mean it very, very literally." It was cute to see her remember my personality from 5th grade and realize I hadn't changed in the slightest.
The rest of Thursday was kind of a blur, probably up until Friday morning. I fell asleep during the kids piano lessons, and I didn't really wake up until Friday morning sometime. I know we went caroling, and I was really upset about having my sleep interrupted (I know I was a grouch about it- my family came in to tackle me to wake me up and I locked myself in the bathroom so I wouldn't yell at people) but after I regained consciousness, it was fun. We sang anything BUT Christmas songs in between houses, and we sang at the TOP of our lungs. Somehow I find that I bond best with my siblings when we're doing something really obnoxious. Hey, whatever works!
So Friday. My dad woke me up and asked me to take my sister to school. I was not happy. But I did. Then I came back home and snuggled up and went back to sleep. I yelled at my dad when he asked me to take my sister to the dentist. "You're CRAZY" is actually what I yelled. And I went back to sleep. Then he called me at 10:30 and asked me to pick up my sister from school. I remembered yelling at him and felt awful for it, so I picked her up and called my dad back and apologized. We dropped off little kids at Wannado City, we ran some errands, we picked up Mom from work, ran some more errands...Then Brid and I went to the beach. Just in time for the sun to go down. It was still fun to be in the sand and the water (even though now they charge you for parking?! What the heck? There going to charge us to BREATH in the Sunshine State too... argh.) We came home, I ran to pick up the kids from Wannado and ended up staying there to make cookies with them. Cute punk running that station that Jada kept talking to and who found any excuse possible to talk to me :P
Then we drove home, pulled over to get all the kids settled down right in front of cop... smooth, Lys, real smooth. We went home to get ready for Haynies' farewell party. Poor Cara was going to have an aneurism because we weren't going fast enough. I felt bad because I really wasn't in a hurry. They're moving 10 minutes away from me at school, I'm not saying goodbye! But my fam was, and Cara wanted to say goodbye to all of her friends. We got there, and it really was fun. We always cause a scene, inconspicuous as we want to be. I walked in and Diana tackled me, quickly followed by Robbie, and really, the follow up by Rob was the least expected thing on the planet. It totally made my night. That, and Jace and Rob kicking the soccer ball (to this day I'm not sure who assisted and who actually kicked the final masterpiece) and having it land on the bowl of cookies at just the right angle to send the cookies flying all over the gym. Ah, best moment of the night. Then I talked to a bunch of people, Andrea, Mike, Sister Shoup, Jared, Amber, Robbie, James, Pres. Richards, all kinds of people. Rob's pretty cool. I really need to hang out with him more.
Saturday we went to Orlando to go to the temple. :) Always a good experience. It's my temple! Jace and Mom and Brid and I went. We waited for the group we were supposed to join, they never came, so we went in and Jace was just going to do the few family files we had (all boys, of course). Then another couple came down to join us but they didn't plan on doing the baptisms, so Brid and I still got to participate. Then we met Dad and the little girls wandering around the temple, watching the cleaning crews set up, and we went to Sierras. I love that family so much. We drove home, went to sleep, got up and got ready for church.
Ah, church. I'm convinced they made it three hours because they want it to be memorable. Always. No matter how many people are involved in your life or attending church with you. Sunday mornings at my house are always a riot, but especially when everyone's singing in Sacrament meeting. Of course. I've been home three days, and on the way to church, I'm informed that we aren't just singing the one song we sort of practice (meaning the half of my family was actually at the piano practicing and I was in getting ready, singing along in front of the bathroom sink.) While sitting in sacrament meeting, the narrator for the Christmas program says something that suddenly inspires my mother to stand up and urge me to get up and go up to the stand. But wait, why isn't Dad getting up? Isn't he supposed to sing with us? Oh no. Part one of four songs they forgot to tell me I was also part of. Lots of up and downs during sacrament meeting that I wasn't expecting. Sunday school I sat with Dad while Mom taught her Primary boys. Though Dad's usually sergeant at arms... I guess Mom's gotten a handle on those 11 year olds. I was expecting her to come join me during Relief Society. She didn't. Ever. Relief Society in a real ward... didn't she know that would do some major scarring?!?
We went caroling again that night. The usual. Monday... oh! The missionaries! The tradition in our house is that the missionaries come over ever Saturday for breakfast. We like to support the missionaries in our ward, but dinner during the week just doesn't seem to work for our family. While we always eat together, some nights its in about 15 minutes because we have so many things scheduled. Breakfast is pretty low key, and it's Saturday morning. No one's in too great of a hurry and the kids can be their normal, outta control selves, and the missionaries (at least, those with younger siblings) feel right at home. And we especially love it when missionaries come over that are working on social skills... I've never heard so many youtube videos quoted verbatim.
I went to Kyle's for breakfast, the only time we could sit and catch up before he goes to Europe! So jealous... Even though I didn't feel like it was catching up. We stay pretty caught up during the semester. That was while Dad and the kids went shopping (I've never known a year that he gets it done before Christmas Eve. If he does, it means he's senile and has forgotten that it isn't Christmas Eve, at which point, it will probably be the middle of July.) We came home to wrap everything, make sure stuff was cleaned up before we started Christmas Eve festivities, and started watching the 4 seasons of Gilligan's Island we borrowed from the Prows' in the Bahamas. Mom came in at one point and we started writing love notes, and then... Mom and Dad fell asleep. The rest of us fell asleep on the pull out bed, all 6 of us piled on top of each other, and everybody woke me up some point the following morning.
And then it was Christmas! Oh the morning was so fun. All two hours of it. Then I crawled back in bed and my mom woke me up to put me on the phone with Sister Silva, who demanded that I get up and play volleyball with them: "If you love me, you'll come play volleyball." I love that woman. I was there! It can't be beat. It was several hours of made up rules and the 5 year old running the music and Sister Silva arguing with me about physics. I love Brazilians :)
Then the beach! We fed seagulls, we watched the sting ray that kept us out of the water once we realized it was there, we named a jelly fish, we tried feeding it to the gulls, we built a sandman, we buried each other, and finally, we went home. Mom was getting ready to make dinner while my siblings were watching A Christmas Story, and my parents got the brilliant idea (needless to say, from the aforementioned movie) to go to a Chinese Restaurant for Christmas dinner. Hahahahahahahahahaha. We went. That's all I'm going to say on that matter.
Wednesday... Brid and I went to work with my mom. I left notes all over Brother Sorensen's desk about how Bridian's in love with Tyler. She'll probably kill me when she finds our that I didn't actually throw them away, and Brother Sorensen will be in his office before Bridian is next. :) Oh well. Easy come, easy go xDDDDD
I stayed up all night watching Hogan's Heroes, and then Thursday we did lots of yardwork. Cleaned the cars, ended up in a family water/mud fight. We went swimming with Dad and worked on my pitching arm. I also tackled Jace. A lot. I dragged him into the pool and pulled him all over, explaining that since it's inevitable that he'll be a lot bigger than I am when I next come home, I had to get my kicks in as soon (and as often!) as possible. He didn't seem to mind too much, until Dad started teasing him about getting his butt kicked by a girl.
Then today I went to work with Mom again. We came home and watched Hogan's Heroes, took Bridian to the book store because I unintentionally got her hooked on the Twilight series and she needed the next one, ran around with Dad looking for a wiring harness for Mom's new CD player, and begged the kids to eat dinner so they could watch their Barbie movie before it has to go back. I've been typing off and on all day, and they're entertained for a minute while I finish. I think I'll be done and take advantage of the quiet!

2007-12-27T17:32:00.001-07:00

what is it with me and Thursdays?!

2007-12-27T17:28:00.000-07:00

I have the hope of documenting my winter break! Mostly so I can see that/if it was actually productive, instead of just sitting on my computer for the majority of the time I'm home. Seeing as how I've tried to do this the past several days and haven't had time to... it looks promising! That's saying something! I hope this proves entertaining! :)

Quotes of the day!

2007-11-29T01:34:00.000-07:00

I just... really liked them today!

Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science.
- Henri Poincare

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
- Jack Benny

"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane."

2007-11-08T15:39:00.000-07:00

Life's just kinda crazy. It's therapeutic to write it all down, so I thought I'd write things down when I feel like I'm getting overwhelmed.
Asia mentioned the analogy of life to a puzzle. She felt that her life was a lot like a puzzle that someone had taken all the pieces and thrown them into the air. She's trying frantically to catch them all and put them back in place, and it's making her uncomfortable.
I liked the sentiment that went with that. Mostly because I understand it more than I'd like to, but that frenzy. That feeling like I need to put all of the pieces back as fast as I can before they fly away. And for me, the problem with throwing them in the air is that the pieces are very similar colors. I don't remember where they fit exactly, so my panic seems doubled. I feel like I'm limited with my time, and with that short amount of time, I have to catch the pieces and figure out where they go.
And writing this down makes me at least feel like I'm really trying to catch them.