but you've already lost

Here's this week in pictures. I am so far behind it's not even funny. So I'm not going to try and catch up, I'm just going to start from the lat couple of weeks. And that's it.

Yes, we did meet Chris Carrabba this week. 

[title from dusk and summer by dashboard confessional]

I could feel something different from the first time

Nov 11 - 18

Monday morning I woke up at about 3:30 because of contractions, which was actually relieving. I really didn't want to be induced. They started getting closer together around 5:30, so I woke Jeremy up and we made a plan for the boys/for the day. Teerklinks had already told us they would watch the boys when we went to the hospital, and when we saw them at the church the day before, they told us they would keep their phones off of night mode because they were sure that, since we had an appointment, we would be heading to the hospital earlier. They were right! Jeremy went to drop them off, I headed to the hospital, and Jeremy met me there. It was probably 8:30am by the time I was at the hospital and checked in, and they listened to the baby's heartbeat for 20 minutes before they checked how dilated I was for the first time- I was already at 8cm. I was hoping things would go pretty quickly after that, but apparently large babies have a harder time moving quickly. The midwives got pretty creative about the positions they had me try to get the baby to keep dropping, and although it was a long day, it worked. There was a shift change at 3pm and the midwives apologized for having to leave me, but the next midwife was only in the room for 30 minutes before Marseille made her appearance. I couldn't even believe we had a girl!  We stayed in the delivery room for a couple of hours before we moved to the maternity ward, where the boys could come and visit, so after they moved Marseille and me, Jeremy went to pick them up from Teerklinks'. The boys were pretty thrilled to meet their sister. It was fun to watch them :)

Jeremy teaching Marseille, an hour into her life, how to play Angry Birds.

Antonia (below) came to visit us and brought candy for the boys.

Berlin thoroughly enjoyed it.

Berlin chose her "going home" outfit. 

He did a dang good job.

Oslo got a little "funned-out" this week. It was 10am on Saturday

and he just put his pillow on the floor and went to sleep. 

Berlin made her a Christmas throne. 

Obviously she's living her best life.

We stayed at the hospital until Thursday morning, so the boys came to visit a few times in between. On Tuesday they came before naps and after naps, and one of Jeremy's coworkers (Antonia) came to visit us too. On Wednesday the boys came for a longer period in the afternoon and skipped naps, then went home for an early bedtime. They came to pick us up Thursday morning after Marseille had her first "checkup" with a doctor. It was great to be home.


We just chilled on Thursday, and Friday morning Jeremy took Berlin to kita and worked in his office for a few hours til Berlin was done with a field trip (which ended a LOT later than expected, so Jeremy was left sitting outside Berlin's locked Kita for a couple of hours in the cold). They came home, we had dinner, and then I went for a walk to a store down the street from us. On Saturday morning, Oslo and I walked to look at a market down the street from the grocery store (I'd never been, but Oslo had been with Berlin and Jeremy and not only remembered but gave me directions. That was cool) and then to the grocery store to get milk. Then we went home, everybody took naps, and then I took the boys to the park for probably about 40 minutes before it was dark before 5pm. We went home and the boys got ready for bed while I went to the grocery store. It was a little weird to be out of the house so many times, but it was really good for me. Definitely forget sometimes that I just had a baby. Jeremy played online with Zachary while Marseille went to sleep, and I followed her not too long after.


On Sunday, the boys went to church, and Berlin gave a small talk for his part in the primary program. Berlin was fantastic. I'm so sad I missed it. Marseille and I stayed home and slept. The whole time. When the boys got home, Jeremy rigged up a cardboard box tripod and we took family pictures. It was a small circus, but we got some good ones. We Skyped with Grandma and then Brita and Kiersten before dinner and bed.

[title from ready and waiting to fall by mae]

no insurance for the unthinkable

Nov 4 - Nov 10

Unfortunately I didn’t write this Sunday night like I should’ve, so my memory of last week is not mostly blended with the last few days. Hopefully this makes a teeny bit of sense!

On Monday, I had an appointment with my doctor. It was the day after my due date (we were between dates, Nov 1 or Nov 3, so we acted like it was Nov 3 until later in the week) and I went in and did the CDG monitoring (heart rate and contractions) and they took my blood pressure. The doctor just said, “Well, we wait. Come back on Wednesday unless you have the baby.” So we were back on Wednesday. More of the same, but the doctor did look at the baby on the ultrasound to see how much fluid was around the baby. All good, healthy levels. So he said to come back on Friday if I hadn’t had the baby, and he would write us the referral to go to the hospital on Saturday or Sunday to plan an induction.


So Friday, after we got there and did the normal monitoring, we didn’t even talk to the doctor. They just gave us the referral and hoped they wouldn’t see us at the next appointment on Monday.


I don’t remember a lot of what happened in between. Tuesday night, Jeremy didn’t have bishopric meetings and I went to pick up a dehumidifier from someone near Potsdam, so it took me like an hour and a half to get there. When I did get there, the wheelie bag I’d brought to transport it was WAY too small. And being as huge as I was, I didn’t really have a lot of options. The guy selling it couldn’t believe I was there to pick it up and ended up driving me to the nearest train station and we turned my wheelie bag into more of a hand truck. He also refused to let me pay him for it. Me and the ridiculous situations I get myself into.


Thursday afternoon/evening we met Jeremy and Berlin at the church where our ward was throwing a mini-farewell party for Rosa, the girl in our ward from Nicaragua. She was leaving to go back on Saturday, and she has submitted almost everything for her mission papers from our ward too. It was great to see her one more time before she left - she was a LITTLE disappointed that she wasn’t seeing our baby before she left, but she forgave me :)


This week was also commemorating the 30th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. There have been a number of different activities running all week, so Friday afternoon we met Jeremy and Berlin at Alexanderplatz and started some sightseeing there. Unfortunately the displays were a little… underwhelming. We walked for a little bit until I got tired and was ready to go home.


On Saturday, we got up and had breakfast and then I went to the hospital while the boys had naps. I was at the hospital for HOURS. I got in pretty quickly, they monitored me again (my new favorite activity) and then said everything looked fine, I just needed to wait for a doctor. It was almost 3 hours later that I actually saw a doctor. We looked at the baby on an ultrasound, she tried to make a weight estimate without the head of the baby (the baby was so far down she couldn’t see it on the monitor) so she did the estimate without the head. 8.5 pounds. How much does a head weigh? 😂😂😂😂😂😂


They scheduled me for Monday morning, and since I was right next to the grocery store, I stopped to make sure we had everything the boys might need. Then I went home and wanted to mop all of the floors. Knowing when I was going to have the baby made it easier to plan. And be a crazy cleaning freak at the same time.


On Sunday after church, we went to see the display for the wall anniversary by Brandenburger Tor. We certainly didn’t see it in all of its glory, but it was still cool to see, especially since I wasn’t sure I even wanted to go, because, walking. But I was very glad we went. We went home and everybody but Jeremy got in bed to take naps, but I was the only one who actually took one. The boys went to bed pretty early and then I made dinner for me and Jeremy, and we planned the week, what would happen which days, of course assuming the baby came on Monday and all of the induction plan worked (I can’t have labor-inducing drugs because I’ve had a c section, and those hard-fast contraction drugs can cause a scar to rupture, so they had other plans which… I’m really glad I didn’t have to use! 😂 

[title from mistakes we knew we were making by mae]

weekend warriors and our best friends

Oct 28 - Nov 3

I can’t remember any of the last week. I’m glad we take pictures.


Monday the boys were really tired and went to bed early. Tuesday after kita we went to the park by Berlin’s kita. They just fixed the trampolines and the boys were pretty thrilled about that.

Berlin has been sleeping on the couch recently to keep the boys from

waking each other up really early.

Berlin has definitely made himself at home.

Halloween prep was the focus this week for sure. And by that I mean we did the pumpkin on Tuesday because there were two very tired boys on Monday when we were supposed to do it for FHE. And then the work I did on one set of themed costumes didn’t really pan out, so we were making ninja costumes on Thursday. Berlin’s was put together Thursday morning before kita, and Jeremy sewed the logo on the headpiece on the train on their way to work/kita. Then we made Oslo’s costume and Jeremy’s headband, and I dressed up inadvertently as Lady Shadow (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRr1SGCfoxk) mostly because I didn’t really think I’d be going trick or treating because I didn’t know how long I could walk. We did maybe ten houses before Oslo said, “It’s time to go home.” HA. So he and I went home, and Berlin and Jeremy continued for another 30-45 minutes. It was really nice to be able to go in our neighborhood - Halloween isn’t REALLY a thing here. Of course, American culture does have an effect, and everybody seemed to know what was going on even if they weren’t prepared with a bowl of candy or didn’t have any decorations or anything (at one house, the guy gave Berlin and Oslo a package of Christmas cookies). But everybody who answered their doors was cheerful. There was one lady who said she recognized Berlin and Jeremy because she’s always eating breakfast when they run past her window to get on the train to work/kita. Apparently we’re making an impact on the neighborhood.

On Friday, Oslo was kind of sick. After nap time, we met Jeremy and Berlin at the grocery store, and then after we got home I headed out to a Relief Society/Elders Quorum presidencies meeting. Really good. It’s cool to see what this kind of cooperation is doing. The meeting wasn’t til 7 and was across the city, so I got home pretty late. Saturday morning Oslo was still sick and slept til 9, I felt awful, and I did almost nothing. All day. We ate breakfast and I got back in bed. Jeremy and the boys played and set up our little tree and put lights on it. In the later afternoon I was kind of frustrated that I was getting nothing done, so with a small energy spurt, I got up and cleaned and mopped the boys’ room and detailed the bathroom. Jeremy and Berlin set up the crib we’re not using as a Lego table so Berlin has a place to build and keep all of his projects.

Oslo decided to take some pics with my phone. 

And then come show me all of his artwork :)

He took a picture of the fire playing in my computer (with Christmas music)

I tried to cook our pumpkins to puree for pies later. 

These weren't good pumpkins for that.

I've started sending this to people who ask if I'm still pregnant.

Fortunately for me, Jeremy likes to document my sleeping habits.

Oslo was up several times Saturday night, and his cough hadn’t really improved at all. He was still asleep when Jeremy and Berlin left for church, and he slept til 9 again and didn’t actually get out of bed until closer to 10. He was just about asleep again by the time the boys got home. We had a slow-moving afternoon. Jeremy and I sat on our bed and worked on Jeremy's new instagram project (@wetalkofchrist When Oslo was awake, we put our ornaments on our Christmas tree, then had soup and rolls for dinner before everybody crashed. And by everybody I mean me. I don’t know if I even know what anybody else did :)

[title from down and out by the academy is...]