Rejection of Proposal.

Dear Alyssa Lindstrom,

We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your interest in the ORCA Grant program. Our reviewers have completed their reviews and we regret to inform you that you have not been selected as a recipient.

We appreciate your interest and want to thank you for your time spent preparing your proposal. We encourage you in your research endeavors and invite you to apply in coming years.

Sincerely,

Office of Research and Creative Activities
Brigham Young University

I emailed it to Brid, with only the message "THE WORST EMAIL TO RECEIVE."

The response:

Dear BYU,

You left the dotty things off of the "o" in my name. I thought you were supposed to be politically correct. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your kind and gentle wording, but I can read right through you. You hate me. Ya'll need to just recognize that the "time [I] spent preparing [my] proposal" was the best time of my life. And what did I do with those golden years? WASTED THEM. On you and your tricky "research endeavors". I will no longer shoot for the stars. I will shoot for the trees. Or maybe the sidewalk, because I will never miss. Thanks for putting a damper on the "coming years".

Sincerly,
A REAL LIVE INDIVIDUAL HUMAN
Alyssa LindstrÖm


I miss her.