you'll never learn to sing

When you give your toddler a cookie at the grocery store at 8:15 because he hasn't had breakfast, you need to reevaluate a few things in your life. Perhaps start by asking yourself some questions:

First: Why are you at the grocery store so freaking early?

Second: Why has your toddler not had breakfast?

Third: Why is he (sort of) dressed, and you are not?

Fourth: Why are you just not at home?

Fifth: Why did you ALSO just eat a cookie for breakfast? PS you don't get any points for giving him the oatmeal raisin cookie for breakfast instead of the giant frosted cookie. It's still a cookie.

I suppose it started the night before, when Sodalicious was part of date night (yep, on a Tuesday. Maybe another sign?). Jeremy saw that the drink I was ordering had Mountain Dew in it and made sure that was really what I wanted (I usually go for something without caffeine), but I figured it would be fine. It's a little bit of soda, it's mixed in with the flavors and cream, etc., I haven't had any in a while, it'll be fine.

Wrong. Because I so rarely drink caffeine, it has a huge effect on me. The kind that other people need a few coffees and energy drinks to sustain. Me? I need half of a 24 oz. diluted Mountain Dew.

Jeremy and I actually got in bed before 11, which was great because I was exhausted, and sometimes we struggle with going to bed at a decent hour. I set an alarm to get up at 5 because I forgot that I told Jeremy I'd help him make chili for the chili cook-off with his office the next day, so I still needed to run to the grocery store before we let it simmer for an hour and a half, hence the early wake up call. But I could not sleep. Finally at about 1, I just got up. I worked on a MLK blogpost that I still haven't finished, did lots of research, played some Trivia Crack with my college friends who were still awake, and wondered how long it was going to take the caffeine to wear off. When I started to get the least bit drowsy, sometime around 3, I climbed back into bed, hoping I'd doze off quickly, knowing that the alarm I set was looming to interrupt my much needed sleep in about 2 hours. I laid there, still way too alert, and it struck me that I could just go to the store right then. I was already awake, and then I would have what I needed and could sleep a little longer when I got back. 

But I'd already been in bed too long. Somewhere while debating whether or not going to the store would help me be more drowsy or just serve to boost my energy, I fell asleep. And my alarm rudely interrupted me, promptly at 5AM. In my amazingly sound sleep-deprived judgment, I decided I could sleep for another 10 minutes. And then another 50. And then I decided I could just throw the stuff in the crockpot and Jeremy could let it cook at work, so I could just sleep until about when he got up. So at 7:30, when Jeremy was showered and dressed and brought a barely alert Berlin in to wake me up, I panicked. I jumped out of bed, swapped my basketball shorts and over-sized t-shirt for sweats and a hoodie (I'm not sure why that change was necessary. It certainly wasn't an improvement), remembered to brush my teeth, and Berlin and I took Jeremy to work. I told him we'd have the chili to him at 10:30 so that Berlin and I could make our 11:15 reading class. 

So we went straight to the grocery store. 

Of course, I didn't want to just get the stuff for chili. I needed to go grocery shopping anyway. So I couldn't just grab the four things I needed for chili and run home and feed my kid, oh no, we had to be there for an hour. So in that hour, one of the cute ladies that worked at our grocery store told me that I could go get him a free cookie from the bakery. I knew he was hungry, and I also wanted to finish grocery shopping while he was still in a good mood. I didn't have long before he started to grump about being hungry, so why not give him a cookie? The kind lady at the counter offered to get any cookie I wanted, but I couldn't justify anything more sugary than oatmeal raisin. It was breakfast, after all, and Berlin's not old enough to appreciate the days where I might just let him eat a giant frosted sugar cookie for breakfast.  

The rest of the day went much like you might guess. Spilled ingredients, a crying child who wants to be held just because his mom is trying to get something done, and a debate about whether or not showering was really worth it, but we did make it back to Jeremy's office, an hour after I'd planned, completely missing our reading class, with a pot mostly full of chili. And my sweater, jeans, and the side of the car covered in the rest of it. 

I took a nap when we finally got home. And vowed never to drink Mountain Dew ever again. 

[title from you'll never learn to sing by sherwood]